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OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell you... - 6/3/2020 2:54:47 PM   
Sardaukar


Posts: 7532
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From: Finland/Israel
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My gf whose Finnish sometimes fails her, being Swedish-speaking minority...

Told me that she had gotten us summer place in cemetery where we can be alone...

Me: "not in damn hurry to move there"...

She meant NEXT to cemetery...but it was amusing as hell...

_____________________________

"To meaningless French Idealism, Liberty, Fraternity and Equality...we answer with German Realism, Infantry, Cavalry and Artillery" -Prince von Bülov, 1870-

Post #: 1
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/3/2020 3:47:41 PM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14261
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From: St. Louis
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So you didn't see the stories she told us about your Svensk?

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RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/3/2020 4:08:58 PM   
LargeSlowTarget


Posts: 4069
Joined: 9/23/2000
From: Hessen, Germany - now living in France
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I find it amusing when my wife observes me playing "that game" again and tells me that I'm wasting my time, then turns on the tv to watch those flip and move shows, cooking shows, shopping shows and what else. Guess what happens when I dare to suggest that watching that stuff on tv is a waste of time...

< Message edited by LargeSlowTarget -- 6/3/2020 4:09:22 PM >


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RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/3/2020 4:15:41 PM   
btd64


Posts: 7063
Joined: 1/23/2010
From: Mass. USA. now in OHIO
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I'm lucky. My wife lets me play my game. Of course she watches those damn house wife's....GP

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RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/3/2020 4:18:47 PM   
fcooke

 

Posts: 680
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Boston, London, Hoboken, now Warwick, NY
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Tis funny. My wife unit loves all those shows but heaven help me if I sit on my bottom for a few minutes. And I haven't fired up a computer game in like 2 years, even though I am now retired. And then when I grab tools to sort something out I tend to get flak for making noise. I now use the tools when she is in the shower. I am smarter than she thinks....

Still love the old girl.

(in reply to LargeSlowTarget)
Post #: 5
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/3/2020 4:34:41 PM   
Canoerebel


Posts: 21090
Joined: 12/14/2002
From: Northwestern Georgia, USA
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My wife is an angel but has an idiosyncrasy that I can exploit, if needed. Sometimes she hands me a list of 17 chores that will take at least ten hours while she's away for the afternoon. If I struggle mightily and finish 15 of those chores by the time she returns, but have just that minute sat down to begin reading, I'll have some 'splainin' to do. On the other hand, if I spend 9 hours and 45 minutes playing the game or goofing off, but happen to be working when she returns home, I'm good to go. As an upright person, I have not divulged this helpful stratagem to my children.

(in reply to fcooke)
Post #: 6
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/3/2020 5:35:25 PM   
fcooke

 

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We may need a new thread. We're up to 5 dogs now. The latest being a 50 lb puppy. Wife has a bunch of conf calls today and wants me to keep the critters quiet. Meanwhile we have a carpenter and painter working in the kitchen and about 10x the normal amount of foot traffic up and down the street. So the dogs are acting like.....dogs. and barking at everything. And it is, of course, my fault. Odd times we live in.

(in reply to Canoerebel)
Post #: 7
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/3/2020 6:28:01 PM   
Sardaukar


Posts: 7532
Joined: 11/28/2001
From: Finland/Israel
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Just confess it's your fault...

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"To meaningless French Idealism, Liberty, Fraternity and Equality...we answer with German Realism, Infantry, Cavalry and Artillery" -Prince von Bülov, 1870-


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Post #: 8
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/3/2020 6:31:41 PM   
Sardaukar


Posts: 7532
Joined: 11/28/2001
From: Finland/Israel
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quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

So you didn't see the stories she told us about your Svensk?


Lets not start with my ability with German...which caused slight riot...

_____________________________

"To meaningless French Idealism, Liberty, Fraternity and Equality...we answer with German Realism, Infantry, Cavalry and Artillery" -Prince von Bülov, 1870-


(in reply to geofflambert)
Post #: 9
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/3/2020 6:39:15 PM   
fcooke

 

Posts: 680
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From: Boston, London, Hoboken, now Warwick, NY
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I do all the time....it seems to wear out.

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Post #: 10
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/3/2020 8:01:37 PM   
dcpollay


Posts: 485
Joined: 11/22/2012
From: Upstate New York USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LargeSlowTarget

I find it amusing when my wife observes me playing "that game" again and tells me that I'm wasting my time, then turns on the tv to watch those flip and move shows, cooking shows, shopping shows and what else. Guess what happens when I dare to suggest that watching that stuff on tv is a waste of time...

Nothing happens. Nothing at all. For several nights.

_____________________________

"It's all according to how your boogaloo situation stands, you understand."

Formerly known as Colonel Mustard, before I got Slitherine Syndrome.

(in reply to LargeSlowTarget)
Post #: 11
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/4/2020 3:29:33 AM   
Will_L

 

Posts: 202
Joined: 9/28/2000
From: NYC-Queens
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My wife used to put me in the doghouse on occasion but she stopped doing it and makes me go shoe shopping with her (absolute torment). She must have heard me that day she was upset with me, walked out of the room and closed the door and I said, a bit too loud, "Yes! Score! Vacation day!"

(in reply to dcpollay)
Post #: 12
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/4/2020 10:48:11 AM   
fcooke

 

Posts: 680
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From: Boston, London, Hoboken, now Warwick, NY
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Shoe shopping....that is evil.

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Post #: 13
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/4/2020 11:51:28 AM   
Alfred

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fcooke

Shoe shopping....that is evil.


Ha ...

I've had to take two wives of mates of mine to Spain, discover the relevant shoe shops in Madrid for them, take them to the various selected shoe stores in Madrid because they didn't know the way, act as their interpreter with the salespeople because the wives don't speak Spanish, help carry to the hotel the bought shoes (at one single store one wife bought 11 pairs, the other a modest 3 pairs at the same store).

Next day it was the turn of the fashion stores, starting with Zara then moving up market to Loewe and so on.

Repeat at other Spanish cities. Throwing in the husbands for their shopping needs.

Alfred

(in reply to fcooke)
Post #: 14
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/4/2020 4:34:56 PM   
Macclan5


Posts: 1016
Joined: 3/24/2016
From: Toronto Canada
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Long running joke.

"Every time I Google Earth my home the swimming pool service van is parked in the driveway"?

Spouse: He fixes my plumbing better

Has morphed over the years into mutual joke:

Cellphone: "On may way home now. Be home in 30 minutes or so. Clear out the (boyfriend / girlfriend)"

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A People that values its privileges above it's principles will soon loose both. Dwight D Eisenhower.

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RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/4/2020 5:05:16 PM   
fcooke

 

Posts: 680
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A number of years ago a bunch of us went Italy, 10 or 12 of us in a villa. The wives all wanted to go to some store that had Gucchi bags and whatever. I got the 'honor' of being the driver. We finally find the place (none of the wives could navigate well). In the end my wife ends up spending more than the rest combined. When we got back to the villa I required a few adult beverages. I hate shopping. I like women. But driving 6 of them to a store and then back again.....not my thing.

(in reply to Macclan5)
Post #: 16
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/4/2020 5:48:08 PM   
ITAKLinus

 

Posts: 321
Joined: 2/22/2018
From: Italy
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Ok. I have a whole bunch of 'lost in translation' situations. Many of which would make me look horrible.
Still remember when the 'escalope' became 'salope'. French-speakers will understand...


Anyway, with my current partner I am blessed by god I guess. No tv-**** (we don't own a tv at all so it's quite easy...) and she has just a slight adversion for my 'pacificking', or whatever I can write it, since I am completely taken by the turn when I play.
She knows remarkably much about history and, at the beginning of my 'pacific career', she knew way more than me about japs and allies. Sometimes she even made suggestions like 'yeah I think you should get midway, man'.

I guess I should marry her one of these days.


Still, to lessen the idyllic picture, she usually has some remark like ''what-the-f@ck, you dumb italian, you work in logistics in africa and when you are in europe you want more war and more excel spreadsheets?!?! What's your problem?!?!''

Twisted things said by either of us are daily since we are both non-native English speakers. Moreover, my second language after Italian is technically French, hers, after Czech, is German. Therefore, our English is quite bizarre and heavily influenced by the expressions commonly used in our respective fields of work (humanitarian for me and academic for her).

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Francesco

(in reply to fcooke)
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RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/4/2020 6:42:06 PM   
CV10

 

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My Dad is a teacher. When my brother and I were kids and we had snow days, my mom (a banker) would leave a colossal list of chores for us to do by the time she got home from work. My dad would read the list, have us quickly do the 2 things that would be noticed, and then chuck the list in the trash. Then we'd go out for breakfast.

My mom took it in good humor and by the time we were in high school it was a family joke.

(in reply to ITAKLinus)
Post #: 18
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/4/2020 6:52:58 PM   
LargeSlowTarget


Posts: 4069
Joined: 9/23/2000
From: Hessen, Germany - now living in France
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ITAKLinus
Ok. I have a whole bunch of 'lost in translation' situations. Many of which would make me look horrible.
Still remember when the 'escalope' became 'salope'. French-speakers will understand...


Mort de rire, j'imagine bien!!!

Reminds me of the shopping list I once wrote for a bbq party, mixing German and French words according to availability. I knew the French words for beer, sausages and ketchup but I didn't know the French word for turkey so used the German word which is "Pute". My French wife in turn didn't know this German word and was quite confounded to put it mildly. Translated from French to English the list read "beer, sausages, ketchup, hookers".

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Post #: 19
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/4/2020 7:29:17 PM   
Orm


Posts: 19407
Joined: 5/3/2008
From: Sweden
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CV10

My Dad is a teacher. When my brother and I were kids and we had snow days, my mom (a banker) would leave a colossal list of chores for us to do by the time she got home from work. My dad would read the list, have us quickly do the 2 things that would be noticed, and then chuck the list in the trash. Then we'd go out for breakfast.

My mom took it in good humor and by the time we were in high school it was a family joke.

Sounds nice.

But I got to ask; you make snow days sound like a regular occurrence, and that makes me wonder how bad the winters were where you grew up?

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Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often students, for heaven's sake. - Terry Pratchett

(in reply to CV10)
Post #: 20
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/4/2020 8:08:14 PM   
mind_messing

 

Posts: 2743
Joined: 10/28/2013
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alfred


quote:

ORIGINAL: fcooke

Shoe shopping....that is evil.


Ha ...

I've had to take two wives of mates of mine to Spain, discover the relevant shoe shops in Madrid for them, take them to the various selected shoe stores in Madrid because they didn't know the way, act as their interpreter with the salespeople because the wives don't speak Spanish, help carry to the hotel the bought shoes (at one single store one wife bought 11 pairs, the other a modest 3 pairs at the same store).

Next day it was the turn of the fashion stores, starting with Zara then moving up market to Loewe and so on.

Repeat at other Spanish cities. Throwing in the husbands for their shopping needs.

Alfred


Sounds like you put your foot in it there Alfred...

I'll show myself out.

(in reply to Alfred)
Post #: 21
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/4/2020 10:45:54 PM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 14674
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LargeSlowTarget

quote:

ORIGINAL: ITAKLinus
Ok. I have a whole bunch of 'lost in translation' situations. Many of which would make me look horrible.
Still remember when the 'escalope' became 'salope'. French-speakers will understand...


Mort de rire, j'imagine bien!!!

Reminds me of the shopping list I once wrote for a bbq party, mixing German and French words according to availability. I knew the French words for beer, sausages and ketchup but I didn't know the French word for turkey so used the German word which is "Pute". My French wife in turn didn't know this German word and was quite confounded to put it mildly. Translated from French to English the list read "beer, sausages, ketchup, hookers".

Boy, you sure know how to put on a party! Invite us next time!

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No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

(in reply to LargeSlowTarget)
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RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/4/2020 11:51:53 PM   
fcooke

 

Posts: 680
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From: Boston, London, Hoboken, now Warwick, NY
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oddly enough, there is an old type of boat in Ireland called a 'hooker'. They were built mainly to haul cargo (generally turf - basically sod to be burned as fuel). There are still a number of them today that have races during the summer. There is (or was) even a bar in NYC called the 'Galway Hooker'. It's just one of those cases where if you don't know the context of language things can get interesting....sort of like what a 'fag' is in the UK and Ireland (cigarette). Or what a 'ride' over there means. I find myself changing terms frequently depending on what country I am in....

(in reply to BBfanboy)
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RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/5/2020 4:12:39 AM   
CV10

 

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Joined: 5/21/2020
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Orm


quote:

ORIGINAL: CV10

My Dad is a teacher. When my brother and I were kids and we had snow days, my mom (a banker) would leave a colossal list of chores for us to do by the time she got home from work. My dad would read the list, have us quickly do the 2 things that would be noticed, and then chuck the list in the trash. Then we'd go out for breakfast.

My mom took it in good humor and by the time we were in high school it was a family joke.

Sounds nice.

But I got to ask; you make snow days sound like a regular occurrence, and that makes me wonder how bad the winters were where you grew up?


Our winters were pretty hit-or-miss: warm and easy one year and terrible the next. Our school district had a lot of students who walked (either to schools or bus stops) so a lot of our 'snow days' were due to extreme cold rather than snowed-in streets.

They weren't too regular, but our routine was always the same

We missed a whole week when I was in middle school because 3 days of subzero temperature got followed by a blizzard that shut down the streets.

To someone from Sweden, our winters would probably be considerably mild and we'd all be seen as wimps!


< Message edited by CV10 -- 6/5/2020 4:16:20 AM >

(in reply to Orm)
Post #: 24
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/5/2020 9:41:47 PM   
Moltrey


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/11/2010
From: Virginia
Status: offline
Sheesh guys, ask me why I am single...

My coworker told me his son asked him after witnessing an exchange with the wife, "are you trying to earn brownie points Dad?"
Eddie replied, "Son, I burnt down the brownie factory years ago."

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"Chew, if only you could see what I've seen with your eyes." - Roy Batty

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Post #: 25
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/6/2020 8:32:34 AM   
Will_L

 

Posts: 202
Joined: 9/28/2000
From: NYC-Queens
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alfred


quote:

ORIGINAL: fcooke

Shoe shopping....that is evil.

Ha ...
I've had to take two wives of mates of mine to Spain, discover the relevant shoe shops in Madrid for them, take them to the various selected shoe stores in Madrid because they didn't know the way, act as their interpreter with the salespeople because the wives don't speak Spanish, help carry to the hotel the bought shoes (at one single store one wife bought 11 pairs, the other a modest 3 pairs at the same store).
Next day it was the turn of the fashion stores, starting with Zara then moving up market to Loewe and so on.
Repeat at other Spanish cities. Throwing in the husbands for their shopping needs.
Alfred


I'd have been on my knees, arms outstretched yelling, "Oh Lord, take me now!" LOL
I hate shopping.

(in reply to Alfred)
Post #: 26
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/6/2020 2:47:07 PM   
Moltrey


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/11/2010
From: Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Will_L

I'd have been on my knees, arms outstretched yelling, "Oh Lord, take me now!" LOL
I hate shopping.



Unless it's for myself... then all bets are off!

_____________________________

"Chew, if only you could see what I've seen with your eyes." - Roy Batty

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Post #: 27
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/6/2020 3:28:39 PM   
Sardaukar


Posts: 7532
Joined: 11/28/2001
From: Finland/Israel
Status: offline
I hate shopping too.

At least with one ex...she bought be a pint for every hour of shopping.

This current one either does not take me with her or limits the time.

_____________________________

"To meaningless French Idealism, Liberty, Fraternity and Equality...we answer with German Realism, Infantry, Cavalry and Artillery" -Prince von Bülov, 1870-


(in reply to Moltrey)
Post #: 28
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/6/2020 7:11:00 PM   
Treetop64


Posts: 916
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From: 519 Redwood City - BASE (Hex 218, 70)
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The significant other, while in the next room watching a movie on her phone, asked me what the capital of Africa was. I paused for a moment, incredulous. She then got agitated when I suggested to her that she should think about what she is asking, and demanded that I just tell her.

So finally I just answered "Oakland" and left it alone.

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Post #: 29
RE: OT: amusing things your spouse or relatives tell yo... - 6/6/2020 8:48:38 PM   
Orm


Posts: 19407
Joined: 5/3/2008
From: Sweden
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CV10

quote:

ORIGINAL: Orm


quote:

ORIGINAL: CV10

My Dad is a teacher. When my brother and I were kids and we had snow days, my mom (a banker) would leave a colossal list of chores for us to do by the time she got home from work. My dad would read the list, have us quickly do the 2 things that would be noticed, and then chuck the list in the trash. Then we'd go out for breakfast.

My mom took it in good humor and by the time we were in high school it was a family joke.

Sounds nice.

But I got to ask; you make snow days sound like a regular occurrence, and that makes me wonder how bad the winters were where you grew up?


Our winters were pretty hit-or-miss: warm and easy one year and terrible the next. Our school district had a lot of students who walked (either to schools or bus stops) so a lot of our 'snow days' were due to extreme cold rather than snowed-in streets.

They weren't too regular, but our routine was always the same

We missed a whole week when I was in middle school because 3 days of subzero temperature got followed by a blizzard that shut down the streets.

To someone from Sweden, our winters would probably be considerably mild and we'd all be seen as wimps!


No, not at all.

Although I probably would have thought that when I went to school. I used to walk most days to school for the first 12 years. It went from a 5 min walk for the first years, to a 30 min walk, one way, for the final years. And the rain was far worse than the cold and the snow. And I do not recall ever having a snow day. Blizzards made you struggle to get to school, but almost everyone did. I wonder if we somehow challenged each other. It was just understood that it was your responsibility to get there.

But as I got older I realized that it only comes down to how prepared you and the society is. And here we are less prepared now than we were back then. I suppose it is, in part, a money issue. Being prepared costs. Anyway. The more common snow and cold is the more prepared you generally are. So no, you are not wimps, you just do not have it cold enough to feel the need to prepare more (and pay for it). You rather take snow days.

_____________________________

Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often students, for heaven's sake. - Terry Pratchett

(in reply to CV10)
Post #: 30
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