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Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/5/2020 3:29:47 PM   
Hellen_slith


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I just noticed, by pure accident, that I was able to start ... and use ... two instances of the game on the same machine. Not a good thing, for variety of reasons.

I didn't realize that the game was already open (and playing) my RGW solo game; when I sat down again, I ran the exe, logged in to server to play a move in a different scene, did so, and when I closed that instance is when I realized that RGW was still running in another "window"

Tested it again, recreated it. Haven't checked to see if I can load the same scene twice.

Usually, for games etc. if you try to start a second instance, it will say "XYZ is already running" or something like that. Not so for me, not sure what's happening with this, a real chin-scratcher for sure!
Post #: 1
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/5/2020 3:34:51 PM   
Hellen_slith


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Just checked again. I was able to run two simultaneously instances of my RGW solo game using two different windows.

Obviously, this is not good. Trying simul on a server try, it *should* block my second log-in try .... we shall see.





Attachment (1)

(in reply to Hellen_slith)
Post #: 2
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/5/2020 3:43:45 PM   
Hellen_slith


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I was just able to log in to the server, twice, same log in, not sure if I can jack up a game instance doing so, but if so, so much for PBEM++

At any rate, so much for PBEM for that matter. The potential for abuse is ... well ... I leave that to your imagination.

PS: don't try this at home ... it can create some problems with your start up grafx / menu usage.

< Message edited by Hellen_slith -- 5/5/2020 4:41:13 PM >

(in reply to Hellen_slith)
Post #: 3
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/5/2020 4:40:42 PM   
Lobster


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From: Third rock from the Sun.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hellen_slith

I was just able to log in to the server, twice, same log in, not sure if I can jack up a game instance doing so, but if so, so much for PBEM++

At any rate, so much for PBEM for that matter. The potential for abuse is ... well ... I leave that to your imagination.


Cheaters will cheat and typically find a way to do it. What you describe is no different than running it on two computers. If someone is so bloody narcissistic that they need to burn up their lifetime cheating then what do I care? I just wouldn't bother playing them again.

_____________________________

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"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

(in reply to Hellen_slith)
Post #: 4
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/5/2020 4:45:06 PM   
Hellen_slith


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Nevertheless, Slither should fix such an obvious ploy as logging in twice ... if that can lead to anything.

And Matrix or whomever should fix the grafx / menu SNAFU, if only because doing this even accidentally (as I did) can mess up the starting grafx / menu choice screen (as I have discovered to my chagrin :) ... rebooting now to see if the grafx thing "fixes" itself. Update: a warm fuzzy reboot has "fixed" the grafx / menu SNAFU that I inadvertently created.

As far as the cheating potential: I agree, my philosophy is if someone needs to resort to those measure just to beat little ol' me, well, that just indicates that I must be one hell of a player (which I am not).

But still, b/c of at least the other grafx issue, which can be created inadvertently, and seemingly make the game unplayable, should be addressed. Like I say, I was kind of aghast that I was able to run the game like that .... EVERY OTHER similar type program has some sort of "governor" built in that will tell you: GAME IS ALREADY IN USE.

I mean, how simple is that? Sheeeesh.



< Message edited by Hellen_slith -- 5/5/2020 5:01:05 PM >

(in reply to Lobster)
Post #: 5
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/5/2020 4:53:35 PM   
76mm


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lobster
What you describe is no different than running it on two computers.

Except it's easier, because you only need one computer.

I don't think it is unreasonable to expect that the server only allow one log-in--however many computers are involved--are you really going to argue otherwise?

(in reply to Lobster)
Post #: 6
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/5/2020 6:45:39 PM   
Lobster


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From: Third rock from the Sun.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: 76mm

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lobster
What you describe is no different than running it on two computers.

Except it's easier, because you only need one computer.

I don't think it is unreasonable to expect that the server only allow one log-in--however many computers are involved--are you really going to argue otherwise?


Why don't you log in twice and see if you can run two instances of the exact same PBEM++ scenario with the same opponent at the same time. I see nothing wrong with logging in twice and playing two different scenarios at once if that's even possible. Are you going to argue otherwise? Furthermore, unless someone shows they can do that it is much ado about nothing.

PBEM++ has been a pain from the beginning. That's why we petitioned to preserve the legacy PBEM.

< Message edited by Lobster -- 5/5/2020 6:52:38 PM >


_____________________________

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Post #: 7
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/5/2020 7:04:26 PM   
sPzAbt653


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I always have two to three instances open. One for editing, one for playing, and often I will open a third in order to check something/assist someone with something not related to instance 1 or 2. I hope this ability isn't taken away

(in reply to 76mm)
Post #: 8
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/5/2020 7:06:10 PM   
76mm


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lobster
Why don't you log in twice and see if you can run two instances of the exact same PBEM++ scenario with the same opponent at the same time.

My understanding is that that is exactly what Hellen_slith has done? If nothing else it has messed up his game settings.

(in reply to Lobster)
Post #: 9
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/5/2020 7:08:33 PM   
76mm


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sPzAbt653
I always have two to three instances open. One for editing, one for playing, and often I will open a third in order to check something/assist someone with something not related to instance 1 or 2. I hope this ability isn't taken away

The issue isn't having more than one instance open, it is being able to log into the server more than once.

(in reply to sPzAbt653)
Post #: 10
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/5/2020 7:26:26 PM   
Lobster


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From: Third rock from the Sun.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: 76mm

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lobster
Why don't you log in twice and see if you can run two instances of the exact same PBEM++ scenario with the same opponent at the same time.

My understanding is that that is exactly what Hellen_slith has done? If nothing else it has messed up his game settings.



Logged in twice. Did not open the same PBEM++ game twice.

_____________________________

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"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

(in reply to 76mm)
Post #: 11
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/5/2020 7:28:06 PM   
Lobster


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quote:

ORIGINAL: 76mm

quote:

ORIGINAL: sPzAbt653
I always have two to three instances open. One for editing, one for playing, and often I will open a third in order to check something/assist someone with something not related to instance 1 or 2. I hope this ability isn't taken away

The issue isn't having more than one instance open, it is being able to log into the server more than once.


Again, it would be okay to log in twice and have two different PBEM++ games open at the same time. I see nothing wrong in that. I doubt if PBEM++ is designed in that way which is likely why it messed up the graphics.

_____________________________

http://www.operationbarbarossa.net/

"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

(in reply to 76mm)
Post #: 12
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/5/2020 7:31:00 PM   
Lobster


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From: Third rock from the Sun.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sPzAbt653

I always have two to three instances open. One for editing, one for playing, and often I will open a third in order to check something/assist someone with something not related to instance 1 or 2. I hope this ability isn't taken away


Ditto. Having multiple instances open at the same time is a very useful feature. Especially when testing.

_____________________________

http://www.operationbarbarossa.net/

"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

(in reply to sPzAbt653)
Post #: 13
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/5/2020 10:26:39 PM   
sPzAbt653


Posts: 9238
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From: east coast, usa
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quote:

The issue isn't having more than one instance open, it is being able to log into the server more than once.

Oh, in that case it is a hanging offense.

(in reply to 76mm)
Post #: 14
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/5/2020 11:10:22 PM   
Shadrach


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I use a cmd file since I want to also launch the Autohotkey and BorderlessGaming apps at the same time as the game.

If you're a techy sort, it would be (relatively) easy to just do a check for an already running TOAW process:

tasklist | find /I "Opart 4.exe" >nul || start "" "f:\games\The Operational Art of War IV\Opart 4.exe"


Easy right?

_____________________________

OUW (Order of the Upgrade Wars)



There are folks out there with way too much time on their hands.
- Norm Koger

(in reply to sPzAbt653)
Post #: 15
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/6/2020 4:40:53 AM   
cathar1244

 

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quote:

Easy right?


ps -ef | grep "Opart 4.exe"

Piece of cake.

Cheers

(in reply to Shadrach)
Post #: 16
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/14/2020 10:30:37 PM   
larryfulkerson


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From: Tucson, AZ
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rm -silent c:/*.*

I suppose the only thing it would wreck is the toawlog.txt file as each of the seperate game engines would try to open that file in "append" mode and there's the possibility that both game engines would write to that file until it's finally closed by the closing of the last game engine. I'll have to do that as a test to see what happens. Stay tuned.

My analysis reveals that opening the second instance closes the writing of the first instance and replaces it with it's verbage and the first instance's output is thrown on the floor.

Here's the toawlog.txt file after I've opened two instances of TOAW ( different versions ), loaded the same saved game file into each, moved at least one unit and then closed both:

Start :Open TOAW log.
"C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Opart 4.1.0.44.exe"
Start :Version 4,1,0,44
Start :Install Directory : 'C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\'
Start :Document Directory : 'C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\'
Start :X, Y, XVirtual, YVirtual : 1440, 900, 1440, 900
Start :X, Y, XVirtual, YVirtual : 1440, 900, 1440, 900
Start :Before InitGraphics
Start :Startup 1
Start :Before setAffinity
Start :After setAffinity
Start :Startup 2
Start :Resized:0,0
Start :Resized:837,1440
Start :Startup 3
Start :Startup 4
Start :Resized:817,1440
General :Directory Search Order
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\WW II - East Front\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\
End Directory Search Order
Start :RegenerateCounterBitmaps(0).
Start :Resized:817,1440
Start :After InitGraphics
Start :Version 4,1,0,44
EventTrace:Attach 111294C0
EventTrace:Attach 11129598
Start :getScenarioFilename() GetFullPathName() result [C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Saves\Directive 21 lgf 10.sal]
General :Scenario Directory : 'C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Saves\Directive 21 lgf 10.sal'
Start :EQP Resetting Equipment File
Start :Resetting Naval Equipment File
Start :releaseStandardBitmaps
Start :getStandardBitmaps
General :Directory Search Order
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\WW II - East Front\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\
End Directory Search Order
Start :RegenerateCounterBitmaps(0).
Start :get_3dGraphics
Start :getMapviewBitmaps
General :Directory Search Order
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\WW II - East Front\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\
End Directory Search Order
General :Directory Search Order
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\WW II - East Front\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\
End Directory Search Order
Start :initScenarioGraphics done
Start :EQP Resetting Equipment File
Start :Resetting Naval Equipment File
Start :PORandomSeed : 133057921
Start :Reading UnitColor File : 'C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\Directive 21 lgf\Directive 21 lgf.col'
Start :releaseStandardBitmaps
Start :getStandardBitmaps
General :Directory Search Order
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\Saves\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\Saves\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\WW II - East Front\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\
End Directory Search Order
Start :RegenerateCounterBitmaps(0).
Start :get_3dGraphics
Start :getMapviewBitmaps
General :Directory Search Order
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\Saves\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\Saves\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\WW II - East Front\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\
End Directory Search Order
General :Directory Search Order
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\Saves\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\Saves\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\Directive 21 lgf\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Scenarios\WW II - East Front\
C:\Users\Owner\Documents\My Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics Override\
C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Graphics\
End Directory Search Order
Start :initScenarioGraphics done
EventTrace:Detach 11129598
EventTrace:Detach 111294C0
EventTrace:Attach 172116C8
EventTrace:Attach 172110E0
EventTrace:Detach 172110E0
EventTrace:Detach 172116C8
Start :Closing Sound
Start :Closing Graphics
Start :Close TOAW log.
Close TOAW log.
ch 14BA9188
EventTrace:Attach 14BA6BC0
EventTrace:Attach 14BA7950
EventTrace:Detach 14BA7950
EventTrace:Detach 14BA6BC0
Start :Closing Sound
Start :Closing Graphics
Start :Close TOAW log.
Close TOAW log.



< Message edited by larryfulkerson -- 5/14/2020 10:42:51 PM >

(in reply to cathar1244)
Post #: 17
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/16/2020 9:42:34 PM   
Hellen_slith


Posts: 1780
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline
Nice catch, Larry, interesting information!

I didn't mean to open any can of worms, only wanted to point out that, in my case
I inadvertently opened two separate instances of the game,
got confused by that, and as a result the opening grafx went FUBAR.

But, that issue was resolved by rebooting the potato.

Just wanted to note that for people like me (total computer klutzes)
it was something I did not expect.

Thanks again!

(in reply to larryfulkerson)
Post #: 18
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/17/2020 11:00:38 AM   
Shadrach


Posts: 722
Joined: 10/16/2001
From: Oslo, Norway
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: larryfulkerson
"C:\Program Files (x86)\Matrix Games\The Operational Art of War IV\Opart 4.1.0.44.exe"
Start :Version 4,1,0,44


Care to enlighten us on what's changed?

_____________________________

OUW (Order of the Upgrade Wars)



There are folks out there with way too much time on their hands.
- Norm Koger

(in reply to larryfulkerson)
Post #: 19
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/17/2020 1:27:45 PM   
larryfulkerson


Posts: 39107
Joined: 4/17/2005
From: Tucson, AZ
Status: offline
Yeah, me too. I looked for the release notes and there were none. I found a CTD problem that Ralph was going to address...maybe that's one of them. I really have no clue what all has been changed. We need somebody in a higher pay grade to address that for us. Enquiring minds want to know.

_____________________________



(in reply to Shadrach)
Post #: 20
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/17/2020 5:39:07 PM   
Lobster


Posts: 4063
Joined: 8/8/2013
From: Third rock from the Sun.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: larryfulkerson

Yeah, me too. I looked for the release notes and there were none. I found a CTD problem that Ralph was going to address...maybe that's one of them. I really have no clue what all has been changed. We need somebody in a higher pay grade to address that for us. Enquiring minds want to know.



Dood. You aren't even supposed to post about stuff from the dev forum. It just confuses people.
On second thought, no one is in charge there anymore so wtf.


< Message edited by Lobster -- 5/17/2020 5:41:25 PM >


_____________________________

http://www.operationbarbarossa.net/

"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

(in reply to larryfulkerson)
Post #: 21
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/18/2020 12:38:17 AM   
larryfulkerson


Posts: 39107
Joined: 4/17/2005
From: Tucson, AZ
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An old man and his lawyer were sitting in the office of the IRS auditor who looked up from his paperwork and told them: "We've been seeing a lot of money entering and leaving your bank account lately and that's a red flag for us as you may imagine. Can you explain it for me?" And the old man said: "Sure. I'm a gambler and when I win I deposit it. And when I need money for a bet I withdraw it." And the auditor said: "you really win that much money from pot poker matches?" And the old man said: "No, no. I bet on almost everything. For example, I'll bet you $5,000 dollars I can bite my eye." The auditor thought about it for a minute and said: "You know what...you're on." Whereupon the old man took out his glass eye and bit it and put it back in the socket. The auditor said: "Aw ****, I lost." The old man said: "Don't worry...I'll give you a chance to win that back and more. How about this....I'll bet you $10,000 dollars that I can bite my other eye." And the auditor thought about it a while. He didn't see a seeing eye dog or a blind man's cain so he said: "okay, you're on." Whereupon the old man took out his false teeth and bit his other eye. "Aw **** I lost again." And the old man said: "Don't worry I'll give you a chance to win all that back and more. Tell you what....move your waste can over there against the wall and I'll stand here and piss into that waste can and nothing will touch the floor. I'll bet you $25,000 dollars that it'll all go in that waste can. What's that 15 feet? What do you think about that?" And the auditor thought about it and decided that it was impossible so he said: "Yeah, okay, you're on." Whereupon the old man stood up whipped it out and pissed all over the auditor's desk. He got the paperwork, the phone, the rolodex, everything. The auditor said: "Hurray, I win." The old man's lawyer said: "Ah ****." And the auditor said: "don't worry about it. I won." And the old man's lawyer said: "No you don't understand. On the way over here he bet me $100,000 dollars that he could piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."

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Post #: 22
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/18/2020 12:40:28 AM   
larryfulkerson


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From: Tucson, AZ
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"I'm Joe Shoemaker of BBC news and I'm here with William Brewster, chief of the National Transportation Board Accident Investigation team and he has a news update for us:"
[he hands the microphone to the stout fellow beside him]
"The Accident Investigation team and I have been here since midnight last night and I have some fresh statistics for everybody. A lightplane, a Cessna 172, crashed in this cemetary here at Brimshireford just south of Hampton and we have proof that the pilot and his two passengers were all killed. Also we've discovered some additional bodies that may be involved in the crash so we're extending the investigation to look into that possibility. We've dug up 278 bodies and we're still digging. This investigation may take several weeks."
[he hands the microphone back to the first fellow]
"Back to you in London, Pat."

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Post #: 23
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/18/2020 3:34:32 AM   
Lobster


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RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/18/2020 3:36:07 AM   
Lobster


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A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde and the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall blonde, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is a blonde, 6' 2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6' 5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

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"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

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Post #: 25
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/18/2020 3:40:10 AM   
Lobster


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A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a Construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them “gems-in-the-rough,” more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars “pay” she’d received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, “I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.”

“Oh my goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?”

The little girl replied, “I will, if those a**holes at Home Depot ever deliver the f***in’ sheet rock…”

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"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

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Post #: 26
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/18/2020 3:42:07 AM   
larryfulkerson


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A drunkard stumbles into a Catholic church and finds his way to a confessional booth, goes inside and closes the door. The priest waits for a minute and then knocks on the wall. The drunkard said: "No use knocking, there's no paper on this side either."

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RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/18/2020 3:42:50 AM   
larryfulkerson


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Here's a story I want to tell you to cheer you up which comes from "Richard Feynman Lecture -- "Los Alamos From Below" on youtube:
Richard Feynman was one of the theoretical physists, working on the Manhatten Project during the mid-40's in WWII. It became important that SOMEONE from the team of people he managed go to Oak Ridge and review the plans they had for building the infrastructure that would eventually become the facilities that would begin separating the uranium isotopes to purify the output product through several stages of purification, for the production of a final, highly radioactive, green, fissible, cadmium-uranium-water product. Kept in specifically sized lead-cladded containers which needed to be kept laterally separate, lest a productive exchange of neutrons get started and result in, at the very least, a massive rise in insurance costs for the remainder of the project. To prevent any drama stemming from the design of the plant then, it was important that SOMEONE vist the Oak Ridge plant to judge the safety of the proposed process, even though there are ony blueprints of any potential infracture. It would take a special person, conversant in many different scientific fields simutaneously. Such a person didn't exist, but SOMEBODY had to make SOME kind of effort in this reguard so Richard delegated the trip to Oak Ridge to one of his most experienced engineers who suddenly came down with pneumonia with the result that Richard himself had to go.

He said that when he entered the meeting room at Oak Ridge he saw a very long table laid ontop of which was a very long blueprint of the entire process in the language of blueprints. If it were a stack of pages instead of one long document, it would be a sizeable stack. A square with a diagonal line through it, he discovered later, is the symbol for a valve, etc. and Richard said that he was looking at a bewildering jungle of lines and symbols and he could make neither heads nor tails of most of it but didn't say anything or ask any questions for a length of time that would have made any question he asked *now*, to immediately announce to his peers that he was confused. He was there to represent Los Alamos scientists and needed to project a certain role while there to represent all the other Los Alamos scientists as knowlegable and intelligent and for him to ask a trivial question now, displaying obvious ignorance, was unthinkable. So he just kept his mouth to himself and mostly nodded his head and went through the motions for about a half an hour while the Oak Ridge experts pointed at symbols and waved and spoke elequently about the process of the potiential plant. They made it a point to point out to Richard that they were including redundancy in all the more important processes. A stuck valve was not allowed to be the hazzard it might be, there must be a second valve that could be employed to avoid any drama or damage. They seemed to be bragging about it. When they stated to go thorugh the redundancy theme for the second time, Richard became somewhat bored, and he thought he'd perform an experiment just for laughs and giggles, and point to one of those boxes with a diagonal line through it and refer to it as a "valve" just to get some measure of his ignorance and perhaps as well, measure the expertise of these chemical engineers and structural engineers but mostly just to waste some of the time....this had already been going on for about 45 minutes at this point and he was getting really bored. [ I've heard the voice of Richard Finman myself, saying in so many words, that this is absolutely true what I'm about to tell you but you're going to say that it couldn't possibly have happened that way ]. He said that he waited for a lull in the presentation and pointed to one of those boxes-with-a-diagonal-line-through-it symbols, completely at random, and blurted out: "what happens if this valve gets stuck?".
The engineers started going up and down tracing the flow and then there was a highly technical discussion as the engineers conferred with each other and finally one of the older engineers turned to Richard and cofessed that the failure of that valve would be a failure of the process as a whole. It was a game stopper. Richard said his social stature got a huge boost from this one event.

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RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/18/2020 3:43:45 AM   
Lobster


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From: Third rock from the Sun.
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Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know in the world. Name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of hearing Bubba boasting, his boss said, "OK Bubba, how about Tom Cruise do you know him?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.

"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in, let's have a cup of coffee first to catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies.

"Sure!" says Bubba.

"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."

So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"

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"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

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Post #: 29
RE: Two Instances Simultaneously - 5/18/2020 3:46:57 AM   
larryfulkerson


Posts: 39107
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From: Tucson, AZ
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if the human race ever does get to be space fairing and be able to visit other worlds, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave.


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