From: The Great White North!
If I understand the original post correctly there are really two layers to your conundrum:
1) Mechanically, how do I manipulate and coordinate dozens of units simultaneously. Some the suggestions above are good and there are many more on the forum.
2) Tactically how do I achieve victory with a wide array of units and capabilities at my disposal and probably a similar suite on the opposing side. That's the part of the game I truly enjoy, and it requires that I apply a bit of discipline to game play by using a simplified version of a military planning process:
1)understand you mission and tasks. What do I really have to do and what can I ignore as a distraction or secondary effort
2)understand your enemy, here it is worth taking the time, coaming the briefing for clues, cruising the net to understand capabilities etc. This may take some time and require an in-game effort to localize how the enemy is deployed in the scenario
3)understand your own forces. Take your time (it gets quicker with experience), crawl through the database, internet and any other references you might have available. Get to know your units a) this ship is ASW focused, this one is an Air Defence unit, b)this load-out is good for SEAD, this AC has a better bomb load, this one has limited range, therefore I'll need tanker support or move my carrier forward. Etc
4)come up with some options - and the beauty of a game is you can try them all out, consider the advantages and disadvantages of each
5)decide on a plan based on your chosen option, perhaps modified by some elements of your other options
Once you have a plan, you will need to figure out how to organize yourself with many of the vital but more mechanical tips provided here or elsewhere in the forum.
Or you might just want to dive in and try a scenario several times, intuitively doing what I describe above. It's a game, whichever way you chose, it gets easier with time and it should be fun.