From: Southern California
**************Briefing room, 90th BS(M), 14:10, Noumea, May 21, 1942***************
<there is a sense of urgency in the air...oh who am I kidding, it's panic. 28,000 Japs are closing on the airfield and one can imagine they will not be very charitable to POW's because they are Little Yellow Bastards and they will be extra grouchy for having lived on grubs and beetles for 2 months>
Tall hirsute USAAF officer: <climbs up on chair and whistles loudly> HEY EVERYBODY! LISTEN UP! The road to La Foa has been cut. The Japs are two miles from the airfield and it don't look good. The Colonel is in the latrine with a bad case of the Noumea two step, his trousers around his ankles and 30 medals on his chest. Nobody is making any decisions around here so here is my proposition. My bird has a badly shot up rudder from Jap shrapnel and the tanks are almost dry but I think I can make La Foa, so me and my crew are getting out. I can take along a few riders. Anyone want to go? <he turns to an officer with greying temples> How about you Doc?
Doc Daneka: Normally, I don't fly with crazy people Yossarian, but I need the flight time this month.
Tall hirsute USAAF officer: OK, Doc's in, how about you Padre?
Father Emmanoulides: Yes, I can go, Yossarian. I'll get my Last Rights kit.
Tall hirsute USAAF officer: HAHAHA! Last Rights, Hahahaha. Padre, you are a laugh riot. <turns to the senior officer in the room> How about you, Major?
Major Major Major: I can't Capt., I have to finish the May Squadron Req list.
Tall hirsute USAAF officer: Major, you crazy SOB, there are 28,000 angry Japs on the other side of the wire. They don't care about your Req list.
Major Major Major: Look, Yossarian, I'll just be in the office.
Tall hirsute USAAF officer: Your crazy SOB! That is the first place they'll look.
Major Major Major: <approches the younger officer and says quietly> Look, Yossarian, I don't fly, OK? I'll see you in Suva, perhaps. And, by the way, You have to say New Perth, not La Foa.
Tall hirsute USAAF officer: New Perth? HAHAHA. You crazy SOB, the Japs are going to own the place in a week. They can call it whatever they want. OK, the Major is swimming, anyone else? <he turns toward a young man in civilian clothes who smokes a fine cigar, his feet propped up on a nearby chair, his eyes closed in serene thought> How about you, Milo, you crazy SOB?
MM: <opens his eyes and smiles> No, thanks Yossarian. I have a ride from Ito-san. I made him a deal.
Tall hirsute USAAF officer: What could he possibly want in Noumea?
MM: <tilts his head back, blows a perfect smoke ring and smiles broadly>..........
< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 10/5/2010 4:15:12 PM >