From: the backwoods of Mass.
Dog letters to God:
Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?
Dear God, When we get to heaven can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Dear God, Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,The colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle?
Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God, If we come back as humans, is that good, or bad?
Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the Schnauzer across the street.
Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God, May I have my testicles back?
The Yankee Motto:
Use it up,
Wear it out,
Or do without.
"God Help us, and God, come yourself.
Don't send Jesus, this is no place for children."