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Hedgehog against the Rising Sun: HMS Resolution vs. Wojtek

 
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Hedgehog against the Rising Sun: HMS Resolution vs. Wojtek - 12/7/2007 6:52:00 PM   
HMS Resolution


Posts: 350
Joined: 1/10/2007
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Hullo there. On Monday, Wojtek and I should be playing the opening turn of what promises to be an astonishing demonstration of ineptitude on my part. I had hoped to start today, for the whole synchronicity with history thing, but the getting of ducks-in-a-row always takes a little time.

Incidentally, in pre-Soviet times, I'm told that Polish lancers used to hunt hedgehogs on horseback. Let's see if I can eke out a little delayed retribution.

Now, cast your gaze back with me, if you will, to the far-distant time of December 5, 1941, in a smoke-filled office in scenic Pearl Harbor, Hawaii...

TOP SECRET NOFORN
Selected excerpts from joint services planning session for RAINBOW-5, 12/05/1941
Present:
RADM (Acting ADM) Kimmel, USN
MGEN (Acting LTGEN) Short, USA
LT Prestwick, UNS, stenographer

K: ...says 'why the long face?' Pretty good, huh?

S: [n.b. GEN Short at this time has organized approximately 100 paperclips in a 3" x 3" square area of the tabletop, packed as closely together as possible] Mm. Very entertaining, Kimmel.

K: Ah, Short, there's something I've been meaning to ask you...

S: Mm?

K: About those hangars...you know...at the airfields...

S: What are you driving at, Kimmel?

K: I don't pretend to know anything about powered flight, Short, don't get me wrong, but don't you put airplanes inside of them?

S: Kimmel, Kimmel, Kimmel. We've been over this a hundred thousand times. The Jap (or Hawaiian) is a treacherous and untrustworthy sort. At any moment, hundreds of ostensible golfers could produce sabotage-type implements from their golf bags and cripple the Army Air Force on the ground. Best to keep the planes where we can see them.

K: I just feel like it would be just as easy to guard them in their hangars, is all...

S: Is that so? Well, by the same token, I note you never seem to set up torpedo nets in Battleship Row, Admiral.

K: Don't be absurd. They look hideous, and spoil the fishing.


A Brief Summary of Lt. Gen A E Percival's career, 1914-1941
MOST SECRET
1914. Enlists in British Army
1915. Heads to FRance with the Service Battalion of the Bedfordshire Regiment
1916. Comissioned as captain, Essex Regiment
1919. Operations in Russia and the Baltic countries.
1920. Anti-IRA operations in Ireland. Heroically defeats ~20 suspected Fenian pheasants in one afternoon.
1923-1924. Staff College, Camberly. Final Paper: The Art of Nonviolence, a new method of Warfighting. First in Cricket team.
1936. GOC, 1st Royal Rapid Reaction White Flag Force.
1938. Staff paper: "Malaya: A Useless Appendix of the Empire".
1940. GOC, Earl's Court/Knightsbridge Fortress Region, London.
1941. Renounces war as a solution to man's problems, GOC Malaya.
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RE: Hedgehog against the Rising Sun: HMS Resolution vs.... - 12/7/2007 7:27:43 PM   
HMS Resolution


Posts: 350
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline
SYDNEY, Australia--The Royal Australian Air Force is pleased to announce the expansion of the domestic fighter force with the revolutionary new CAC Wirraway. "Most fighter aircraft attempt to defeat enemy aircraft through their speed, maneuverability, and firepower," said Air-Vice Marshal Bruce "Bruce" Plump-Roast to reporters, "but the Wirraway forces the enemy to overestimate it at every turn. It is literally impossible not to." He then unveiled an artists impression of the likely results of an encounter between a Wairraway and the aircraft of an unnamed aggressive foreign power in the Pacific.

Attachment (1)

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RE: Hedgehog against the Rising Sun: HMS Resolution vs.... - 12/7/2007 9:49:01 PM   
HMS Resolution


Posts: 350
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline
Except from the diary of General Alan Brooke, Chief of Imperial General Staff, September 22, 1941
 
Winston was a chore tonight again; he is now having second thoughts about giving "Tom Thumb" Phillips the Prince of Wales and Repulse now that we only have Hermes at Colombo to provide air cover. He has gone from thinking that battleships can see off aeroplanes to worrying that Phillips will make a very costly mistake and lose both ships to the enemy. Pound reminded him that Phillips had already been promised the command of both ships and he could not see a suitable way of reneging at this point. Winston then said very ominously that there were ways and he and Portal shared a meaningful look.

Artefact 453265.343 from the Imperial War Museum War At Sea 1939-1946 archives:
A sign, approximately 6' x 2', with "YOU MUST BE THIS TALL TO COMMAND A KING'S SHIP" inscribed atop it in black block capitals. Artefact was originally attached to the gangplank of HMS Prince of Wales, circa fall 1941.

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