Shannon V. OKeets
From: Honolulu, Hawaii
These look excellent.
Supply is one of the most difficult bits of the game to get your head around (still does my head in!). I think these do a pretty good job of explaining them.
I particularly like the overlay of the symbolic overseas supply on the various pages.
The indicator system seems to work well, howevr I wonder if in-game, there may be a benefit in having some kind of toggled filter on the map which would show which map hexes are in supply- say shading those OOS hexes?
On the text, totally nitpicking, but suggest avoid "Sardinia's" (page 8- ie "Sardinia is") the odd apostrophy to keep the flow of the text readable is fine ("it's", "doesn't" etc) but this one niggles me!
You have to realize that I have about twice as much to say about most pages. I start with way too much text and then, like Hemingway , I pare the text down by going over and over it, removing everything I possibly can. Once I have it stripped to what I consider the naked core, I add some of the 'touches' back in. Still, there is so much more that could be added.
In the beginning of creating the tutorials, I decided that all the comments had to fit within the text column on the right. The space allocated for the text and the screen shots would be absolutely unchangeable. That has been a tough decision to live with - though I still feel it was the correct decision.
Perfection is an elusive goal.