From: the backwoods of Mass.
Please let us friends, Romans ad country peoples share the great wisdom of the prophets and add what ye will to this fine thread dedicated to that most enlightening of concoctions: Beer!
ODE TO BEER
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
Without question the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you the wheel was also a fine invention, but a wheel does not go as well with pizza.
Candy is dandy but, liquor is quicker.
He was a wise man who invented beer.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
Beer is proof that G-d loves us and wants us to be happy.
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy
People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
I drink to make other people interesting.
--George Jean Nathan
They who drink beer will think beer.
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
The Yankee Motto:
Use it up,
Wear it out,
Or do without.
"God Help us, and God, come yourself.
Don't send Jesus, this is no place for children."