RE: Two Instances Simultaneously (Full Version)

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Lobster -> RE: Two Instances Simultaneously (5/18/2020 3:46:58 AM)

Due to his owner's negligence, a dog became lost in the deepest jungles of Africa. Wandering around, the poor dog notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

Just then, the dog noticed some bones laying on the ground close by. The dog immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching leopard. Just as the jungle cat is about to leap, the dog loudly says, "My, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the leopard slinks away. "That was too close," thought the leopard, "that dog nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a mischevious monkey had observed the entire scene, and decided to cause trouble for the dog, while getting on the good side of the leopard as well. The monkey dashed off after the leopard, to tell him what truly happened.

The dog saw the monkey dash off, and suspiciously tailed him from behind. He overhears the monkey spilling the beans, and quickly decides on a course of action, racing back to the pile of bones.

At the same time, the leopard has decided to take care of the dog once and for all. The monkey hops on the leopard's back, to watch the demise of the doomed dog. As the leopard approaches, he can hear the dog talking to himself: "Where's that lazy monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago for another leopard, and he's still not back!"

larryfulkerson -> RE: Two Instances Simultaneously (5/18/2020 3:48:39 AM)

Saturn radio sounds:

Lobster -> RE: Two Instances Simultaneously (5/18/2020 3:49:23 AM)

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”

The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”

larryfulkerson -> RE: Two Instances Simultaneously (5/18/2020 3:50:34 AM)

Jesus was entertaining a crowd in the town square answering questions and so on when some religious leaders brought before him a woman who was allegedly caught in the act of adultery and asked Jesus if they should stone her like the scriptures call for. If he says yeah, go ahead and stone her he would be ignoring his message of forgiveness and love and if he says don't stone her he would be negating the law of Moses. So what should he say? He squatted down and started writing in the dirt with his finger and after a short minute he stood up and said: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." And then he squatted down and continued writing in the dirt. The people in the crowd were struck in their conscience that they weren't without sin and one by one they peeled off and walked away. All of a sudden a rock sailed out of the smaller crowd that was left and it struck the adulterous young woman in the forehead and knocked her down. A nasty bruise was forming and her forehead was bleeding. Jesus stood up and said" "Sometimes you really tick me off Mom."

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