If you're having issues with slow response times in the Expansion Planner, Ships & Bases, and other menus, you might want to consider playing on a smaller map or upgrading your computer as it sounds like you're pushing the limits of what your computer can handle.
Is the only way seriously to open the immensely boring and slow Expansion planner and click "send nearest construction ship" one by fricken one to all the Hydrogen Planets and Caslon..?
There are several other ways you can do this:
1. There is a button on the left-hand side of the screen which has an icon that looks like a crossed shovel and pickaxe; clicking that opens up a list of locations which can be mined. Scroll through the list to find what you want, click on the list item to select it, and then click on the "Queue construction ship to build mine" button at the bottom of the panel in the lower left corner of the screen.
2. If you know where the objects you want to mine are, you can go to each of them directly in the main screen, select the object, and click the "queue construction ship to build mine" button in the lower left corner of the screen.
3. If you know where the objects you want to mine are, you can select a construction ship, center the view on an object you wish to mine, hold down control and right click on the object, and select "queue next mission ... build (mining station of appropriate type) here" from the menu, and repeat that for each object you wish to build mines at.
4. You can bring up the galaxy map by pressing one of the buttons on the panel in the lower right corner of the screen, set the filter to "resources" and the subfilter to whichever resource you're looking for, and click on the yellow dots to select locations which have that resource, at which point you can queue up construction of mining stations using one of the above methods.
2. When all my "so smart" Automated Constructors go around building random mines everywhere, and then they get destroyed, they don't "automatically" rebuild the ones destroyed. and all the sudden I find my self in my own Homeworld with 20 Gas planets with no mines on them!!
How can I constantly be rebuilding my gas mines when all the whole computer AI's attack all my mines when I'm at war and then my automated constructors dont' rebuild the mines anywhere!?
Automated construction ships will get around to building things eventually, once the computer recognizes that there is a need for it. Whether or not they will do so quickly is another question, one which depends to at least some extent on the size of your resource stockpiles, the number of construction ships you have, the number of tasks the construction ships have already been assigned, the availability of resources from other areas, and probably a few other things. If you want a mine built quickly, do not rely on automation routines to get it done; either add it to the queue by selecting a planet and using the button to order up a mine at that location, or specifically order one of your construction ships to go build a mine there.
An alternative to building fuel mining stations is to develop Energy to Fuel Converters and add that component to spaceport or other common station designs. Another alternative is to design the mining stations in such a way as to make it less likely for the stations to be destroyed, though that can be difficult or impractical against the fleets fielded by developed empires.
3. when I build fleets, I build like 70-100 ships now, at a time!. Then When I want to set them to a fleet I have to only go into the Military ships screen and try to hold shift while trying to scroll through 100 ships to set them to a fleet.. is this really the only way and best way to make huge fleets?
It is not the only way, though I don't know that the alternatives are necessarily better. You can select multiple ships in the main screen (easiest way is dragbox selection, though that can be somewhat indiscriminate) and order them to join a fleet through the cntrl-rmouse popup menu, you can select individual ships one at a time and order them into a fleet that way, and you can turn on Automatic Fleet Formation in Empire Policies to allow the computer to put your automated ships into fleets (doing this will however screw with any existing automated fleets; additionally, the computer will not normally organize all automated ships into fleets).
A better solution might be to start using smaller fleets of higher-quality ships.
It already takes 1 minute to click 100 clicks on the spaceport to build 100 ships.. then I have to go select 100 ships again from the military ships screen.
The Build Order menu (top of the screen, button icon is a hammer) is very useful for mass build orders as the menu allows text input for the quantities. You lose control of where the ships get built, but I'm pretty sure that the computer tries to distribute the construction orders in the way which will get the ships built fastest.