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Grandma knows.

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Grandma knows. - 7/9/2015 8:13:43 PM   


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Lawyers should never ask a grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.


The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.
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RE: Grandma knows. - 7/9/2015 8:15:59 PM   

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Now THAT'S funny!!

(in reply to Aurelian)
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RE: Grandma knows. - 7/9/2015 8:23:03 PM   

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Thanks for that I needed a good laugh today!


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RE: Grandma knows. - 7/9/2015 9:22:56 PM   

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After the day I have had that was the only thing that made me laugh today. Thanks.



"Those who don't know history are destined to repeat it."
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
Edmund Burke

(in reply to Zap)
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RE: Grandma knows. - 7/9/2015 11:01:33 PM   
JEB Davis

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Reduce unrealistic SP:WaW slaughter, "Low Carnage" (v8.403 or Enhanced):
Settings: 90S,80H,100RR,XXXTQ,110TT,150IT,180AvS,130AvA,150SOF / Command & Ctrl ON / AutoRally OFF
Visit the Enhanced forum at

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RE: Grandma knows. - 7/10/2015 3:42:28 AM   

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England expects that every man will do his duty. Horatio Nelson October 1805

(in reply to Aurelian)
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RE: Grandma knows. - 7/10/2015 5:22:54 AM   

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So funny. but so so close to the truth, and the judges comment, using the the American Express's advertisement comment "priceless."

< Message edited by BASB -- 7/10/2015 6:23:40 AM >


Formerly Goodwood

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RE: Grandma knows. - 7/10/2015 5:52:56 AM   

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Dave "Arjuna" O'Connor

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RE: Grandma knows. - 7/10/2015 12:26:42 PM   

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ORIGINAL: Lecivius

Now THAT'S funny!!

Oh hell yeah.


"I hate newspapermen. They come into camp and pick up their camp rumors and print them as facts. I regard them as spies, which, in truth, they are. If I killed them all there would be news from Hell before breakfast."- W.T. Sherman

(in reply to Lecivius)
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RE: Grandma knows. - 7/10/2015 1:11:21 PM   

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Nice one, Aurelian. Thanks for the laugh.


This war is not about slavery. --Robert E. Lee

(in reply to Aurelian)
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RE: Grandma knows. - 7/10/2015 3:59:12 PM   


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ORIGINAL: Greybriar

Nice one, Aurelian. Thanks for the laugh.

My pleasure. Laughing is so stress reducing.... :)


The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.

(in reply to Greybriar)
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