From: Paducah, Kentucky
The imagination reels.....
Scene: A bunker somewhere near the frontier.
[sounds of morse code in the background]
a lieutenant walks up to the two generals and two parliament members with a large note card
LIEUTENANT: Sirs, we have noticed a huge increase in message traffic. We feel that this may indicate an impending invasion of our firewall!
GENERAL: Let them come! We are ready. We have added additional T1s in preparation for this attack!
LIEUTENANT: But Sirs, this amount of chatter hasn't been seen since the last crusades between the AIers and the PBEMers. Our crypto teams suspect they have joined forces to egg on an attack from the brothers and sisters of IWIN.
LIEUTENANT: IWIN. The dreaded forces of I Want It Now.
GENERAL: Oh My!
LIEUTENANT: Apparently AI and PBEM have convinced IWIN to storm the beach head with promises of following up once the situation is more fully developed.
GENERAL : Good! That will split their forces. We will be able to easily withstand such a piecemeal attack!
LIEUTENANT: Sir, Yes Sir! Or rather Sir, No Sir!
GENERAL : I beg your pardon?
LIEUTENANT: Sir. Begging the General's pardon, sir. The crypto team is betting their rights to early release of next week's patch that this is a diversion.
GENERAL : A diversion?
LIEUTENANT: Yes sir. A diversion. Crypto predicts that the AIers and the PBEMers actually intend to storm the circuits ahead of the IWINs and are LOL-ing them to sleep before the real complaining begins.
LIEUTENANT: The real complaining. We have decoded messages that indicate the new talking points will be about how this release was delayed too long. They will complain that industry standards dictate that it should have been released in an unfinished state months ago. They will point out that no game is expected to work properly until after the third patch. THEY MAY ACTUALLY TAKE TO FACEBOOK and COMPLAIN THAT THEIR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS TO BITCH WERE ERADICATED BY THE QUALITY OF THE SOFTWARE AT RELEASE!
PARLIAMENT: I say, old chap, you are positively foaming at the mouth.
GENERAL : aside Someone bring me a towel.
LIEUTENANT : They are going to try to gin up something to complain about by crashing the download site when they all unexpectedly buy the game EVEN THOUGH THEY SAID THEY WOULDN'T UNLESS IT HAD THEIR FEATURE!!
GENERAL : Thank you lieutenant. This bit of intelligence may be crucial to our plans. I propose we delay the opening of sales for a few hours while we list those who said they wouldn't buy it and prevent them from being able to during the first wave.
PARLIAMENT: By Jove, that is a great idea!
Bridge is the best wargame going .. Where else can you find a tournament every weekend?