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Mostly OT...Actually totally OT

 
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Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 6:28:15 AM   
JeffK


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A poll found this the world's funniest joke.
Though members of the NRA might think it factual.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"


by

Terence Alan Patrick Seán "Spike" Milligan KBE

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RE: Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 1:50:50 PM   
Chickenboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffK

A poll found this the world's funniest joke.
Though members of the NRA might think it factual.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"


by

Terence Alan Patrick Seán "Spike" Milligan KBE


An oldie but a goodie.

Your OT 'jokes' might be funnier if you avoided the tempting political slam too. Many forum members here are NRA members and don't need the needling in this anti-gun political climate, Jeff. Particularly from a foreign national.

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RE: Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 2:23:58 PM   
nashvillen


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Your OT 'jokes' might be funnier if you avoided the tempting political slam too. Many forum members here are NRA members and don't need the needling in this anti-gun political climate, Jeff. Particularly from a foreign national.

+1

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RE: Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 2:31:08 PM   
Colonel Mustard


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I'll do a +2, though I'm not an NRA member. It is a great joke until you add the "shot." It stirs up bad things.

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RE: Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 8:03:19 PM   
geofflambert


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+1 Also, would everyone stop making gorn jokes? I'm very sensitive.

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RE: Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 8:15:06 PM   
tocaff


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Oh no a sensitive Gorn.

Did you hear the one about the Gorn's first attempt to study their sun? Well the biggest problem was beating the heat generated by the sun so they launched at night.

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RE: Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 8:17:59 PM   
Terminus


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It's a pretty old joke, but a good one.

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RE: Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 8:49:41 PM   
Canoerebel


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Hey, Gents, I'm pretty sure that was deterimined to be the second funniest joke by some British study last year (seriously). If memory serves, the funniest joke was this one (again, this is serious):

A lady traveling on a bus becomes upset when another passenger tells her she has the ugliest baby he's ever seen.

Incensed, she stomps to the front and asks the driver to stop the bus and let her off.

"I can see how insulting that is," the driver replies sympathetically. "Why don't you let me hold your monkey while you go back and tell him off."

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RE: Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 9:00:48 PM   
casmithasl

 

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I find nothing funny in the original "joke".

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RE: Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 9:12:04 PM   
Canoerebel


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You don't? The original joke is pretty doggone funny IMO.

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RE: Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 9:16:23 PM   
AW1Steve


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On behalf of dead hunters , NRA members, and ugly babies that look like monkies, I am offended! So there!

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RE: Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 9:29:31 PM   
SuluSea


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Government is buying hand gun ammo making it hard to come by which is kind of a back door gun control and a waste of taxpayer dollars. No one has ever accused either side of the aisle as being responsible with taxpayer dollars though....

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RE: Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 9:47:20 PM   
Bullwinkle58


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Canoerebel

Hey, Gents, I'm pretty sure that was deterimined to be the second funniest joke by some British study last year (seriously). If memory serves, the funniest joke was this one (again, this is serious):

A lady traveling on a bus becomes upset when another passenger tells her she has the ugliest baby he's ever seen.

Incensed, she stomps to the front and asks the driver to stop the bus and let her off.

"I can see how insulting that is," the driver replies sympathetically. "Why don't you let me hold your monkey while you go back and tell him off."


I like the one about tennis shoes and outrunning bears more.

Also snakebite and "He says you're gonna die."

< Message edited by Bullwinkle58 -- 5/5/2013 9:48:21 PM >


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RE: Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 9:48:49 PM   
geofflambert


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AW1Steve

On behalf of dead hunters , NRA members, and ugly babies that look like monkies, I am offended! So there!


Who are you calling an ugly baby that looks like a monkey? I'm not even a primate.

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RE: Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 10:13:18 PM   
jmalter

 

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"And there are ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, & a pure-bred Guernsey cow!"
- Tom Lehrer

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RE: Mostly OT...Actually totally OT - 5/5/2013 11:12:54 PM   
JeffK


Posts: 5208
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From: Back in the Office, Can I get my tin hut back!
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Canoerebel

Hey, Gents, I'm pretty sure that was deterimined to be the second funniest joke by some British study last year (seriously). If memory serves, the funniest joke was this one (again, this is serious):

A lady traveling on a bus becomes upset when another passenger tells her she has the ugliest baby he's ever seen.

Incensed, she stomps to the front and asks the driver to stop the bus and let her off.

"I can see how insulting that is," the driver replies sympathetically. "Why don't you let me hold your monkey while you go back and tell him off."


The site i looked at had the Milligan joke first (and it was an oldie, based on a 1951 Goon Shoow scipt) and the monkey joke second.

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