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Three Politically Incorrect Jokes at Der Fuhrer's expense.

 
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Three Politically Incorrect Jokes at Der Fuhrer's expense. - 11/15/2012 12:01:45 AM   
Greyshaft


Posts: 2244
Joined: 10/27/2003
From: Sydney, Australia
Status: offline
Please add your own three Politically Incorrect jokes to the end of this thread. Can we try to keep it only mildly Politically Incorrect and have the emphasis on humor at Der Fuhrer's expense rather than abuse of any gender, ethnicity, age group etc? Please also abide by the Matrix codes of conduct pertaining to this Forum.

**************************
Benito walks into Adolf's barn and catches him dancing naked in front of a tractor. Benito says, "Mamma mia Adolf, whatta heavens you doing?" Adolf says, "Ach... Eva und I have no fun in ze bedroom lately und ze therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor."
**************************
Benito is admiring Blondie and says "Adolf, maybe I get a dog like Blondie, but maybe a smaller one, like a Labrador."
"Nein! Nein!" shrieks Adolf. "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"
**************************
Adolf's favorite racing snail is not winning races anymore. So Adolf decided to take the snail's shell off to reduce its weight and make it more aerodynamic. It didn't work.
If anything it made it more sluggish.
**************************



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/Greyshaft
Post #: 1
RE: Three Politically Incorrect Jokes at Der Fuhrer's e... - 11/15/2012 12:16:29 AM   
Tylom

 

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/21/2011
Status: offline
Why didn't Hitler drink Tequila?

It made him mean:)

(in reply to Greyshaft)
Post #: 2
RE: Three Politically Incorrect Jokes at Der Fuhrer's e... - 11/15/2012 2:47:12 AM   
tigercub


Posts: 1578
Joined: 2/3/2003
From: chiang mai ,thailand
Status: online




Hitler was infuriated by the anti-Nazi jokes that were popular in Germany as soon as he came
to power. He issued an order to the Gestapo:
"Find out who's responsible and bring him to me!"
So a Jewish comedian, Y ossel von Goldbloom, was dragged into the Fuhrer's presence.
Hitler roared: "Did you invent the one about me
and the ***?"
"Yes," admitted Goldbloom.
"What about the one about me and the swine?" "Yes, me too," nodded Goldbloom.
"And the one that says the day I die will be a Jewish holiday?"
"That too, I'm afraid," confessed Goldbloom.

"You pig of a Jew!" screamed Hitler.

"Don't you realise I'm the Fuhrer of the Third Reich - a great empire that will last a thousand years?"
"Ha! Ha!" shrieked Goldbloom, falling all over the place, "that's wonderful! But you can't blame me for that one - I never heard it before.



_____________________________


You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life

(in reply to Tylom)
Post #: 3
RE: Three Politically Incorrect Jokes at Der Fuhrer's e... - 11/16/2012 1:35:51 AM   
JeffK


Posts: 5229
Joined: 1/26/2005
From: Back in the Office, Can I get my tin hut back!
Status: offline
Can you make sure they are funny to start with, not just prep school toilet humuor!

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Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum

(in reply to tigercub)
Post #: 4
RE: Three Politically Incorrect Jokes at Der Fuhrer's e... - 11/16/2012 5:06:50 AM   
tigercub


Posts: 1578
Joined: 2/3/2003
From: chiang mai ,thailand
Status: online
wating for yours!

_____________________________


You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life

(in reply to JeffK)
Post #: 5
RE: Three Politically Incorrect Jokes at Der Fuhrer's e... - 11/16/2012 1:24:53 PM   
Klydon


Posts: 2167
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: online
Saw this on another site and thought it was pretty good, especially if you get some of the historical tongue in cheek references:

If World War Two had been an online Real Time Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this.

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny~tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny~tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny~tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny~tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny~tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*

(in reply to tigercub)
Post #: 6
RE: Three Politically Incorrect Jokes at Der Fuhrer's e... - 11/16/2012 3:54:01 PM   
bo

 

Posts: 3221
Joined: 5/1/2009
Status: offline
Ouch, and I thought I was the only one around here getting frustrated waiting for MWIF, even Crussdaddy has mellowed with time Are we this desperate to post anything

Bo

(in reply to Greyshaft)
Post #: 7
RE: Three Politically Incorrect Jokes at Der Fuhrer's e... - 11/25/2012 5:11:25 PM   
CrusssDaddy

 

Posts: 248
Joined: 8/6/2004
Status: offline
Adolf Hitler, the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and MWiF walk into a bar... oh wait MWiF doesn't exist, this joke isn't going to work

*Edited to add emoticons


< Message edited by CrusssDaddy -- 11/25/2012 5:12:47 PM >

(in reply to bo)
Post #: 8
RE: Three Politically Incorrect Jokes at Der Fuhrer's e... - 11/27/2012 3:15:01 AM   
bo

 

Posts: 3221
Joined: 5/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrusssDaddy

Adolf Hitler, the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and MWiF walk into a bar... oh wait MWiF doesn't exist, this joke isn't going to work

*Edited to add emoticons


First time you have made sense this week you must notice one less emoticon than you have as I am not in your league I could not even carry your emoticons into battle

Bo

(in reply to CrusssDaddy)
Post #: 9
RE: Three Politically Incorrect Jokes at Der Fuhrer's e... - 11/27/2012 9:46:34 AM   
Extraneous

 

Posts: 1684
Joined: 6/14/2008
Status: offline
All the Hitler jokes I have found would get me banned from the forums for life.



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University of Science Music and Culture (USMC) class of 71 and 72 ~ Extraneous (AKA Mziln)

(in reply to bo)
Post #: 10
RE: Three Politically Incorrect Jokes at Der Fuhrer's e... - 11/28/2012 1:17:24 AM   
Empire101


Posts: 1962
Joined: 5/20/2008
From: Coruscant
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Klydon


Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha




Class!! Made me burst out laughing.


_____________________________

Our lives may be more boring than those who lived in apocalyptic times,
but being bored is greatly preferable to being prematurely dead because of some ideological fantasy.
- Michael Burleigh


(in reply to Klydon)
Post #: 11
RE: Three Politically Incorrect Jokes at Der Fuhrer's e... - 11/28/2012 8:32:14 AM   
Joseignacio


Posts: 1053
Joined: 5/8/2009
From: Madrid, Spain
Status: offline
It's great, but I think the video version is even funnier, the way it is presented...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7KviSgGtpM&bpctr=1354093268

(in reply to Empire101)
Post #: 12
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