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This game is borked!

 
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This game is borked! - 4/14/2012 7:02:32 PM   
Historiker


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Isn't that crazy? Come on, Matrixgames - you can do better!

This game is totally borked!

AFTER ACTION REPORTS FOR Apr 12, 12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Night Time Surface Combat, near St. Johns, Newfoundland at 77,75, Range 100 Yards

Japanese Ships
Jakobshavn Isbræ type Iceberg

Allied Ships
xAP Titanic 6 hits, and is sunk

Reduced sighting due to 25% moonlight
Maximum visibility in Overcast Conditions and 25% moonlight: 5,000 yards
Range closes to 25,000 yards...
Range closes to 20,000 yards...
Range closes to 15,000 yards...
Range closes to 10,000 yards...
Range closes to 5,000 yards...
Range closes to 1,000 yards...
CONTACT: Allies detects Japanese task force at 1,000 yards
Jakobshavn Isbræ type Iceberg engages xAP Titanic at 0 yards
EJakobshavn Isbræ type Iceberg rams xAP Titanic
xAP Titanic is hit six times
xAP Titanic is taking a lot of water
xAP Titanic's band restarts playing
xAP Titanic is sinking
xAP Titanic breaks in half
xAP Titanic Leonardo di Caprio is finally gone
xAP Titanic the watching girls are crying

_____________________________

Without any doubt: I am the spawn of evil - and the Bavarian Beer Monster (BBM)!

There's only one bad word and that's taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors; it's good enough for you. - Ron Swanson
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RE: This game is borked! - 4/14/2012 7:08:27 PM   
seille

 

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That was me when i read the thread title
That was me after i finished reading

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RE: This game is borked! - 4/14/2012 7:24:18 PM   
drw61


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lol

quote:

ORIGINAL: Historiker

xAP Titanic Leonardo di Caprio is finally gone
xAP Titanic the watching girls are crying


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Post #: 3
RE: This game is borked! - 4/14/2012 7:38:02 PM   
mdiehl

 

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All that's missing is a "Th Th That's All, Folks!"

"D'you suppose that some day people will go to Titanic replays to toss one liners and popcorn at the characters a la Rocky Horror?

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RE: This game is borked! - 4/14/2012 10:35:28 PM   
mikkey


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RE: This game is borked! - 4/14/2012 11:38:55 PM   
Zorch

 

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I want an edited version of Titanic that's just about the ship sinking, without Leo & Kate.
It should run about 40 minutes.

My favorite scene is when the people start falling to their deaths, as the ship lists.

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RE: This game is borked! - 4/14/2012 11:59:07 PM   
wdolson

 

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I had the same opinion of Top Gun. I wanted a version with just the flying scenes. IMO the story was almost as bad as the Movie that Cannot be Named.

Is the date wrong in the combat report? From what I've read the Titanic hit the iceberg late on the 14th and sank on the 15th. Though that's just some info online, it could be wrong.

Bill

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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 12:01:17 AM   
Historiker


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Time zone question


I always thought about starting a business that edits "men-versions" of movies. Cutting all that "heart-crap" out and leaving the male rest. Like that story of the love with a Japanese American in "Midawy", or áll that horrible romance scenes in Star Wars Episede II.

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Without any doubt: I am the spawn of evil - and the Bavarian Beer Monster (BBM)!

There's only one bad word and that's taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors; it's good enough for you. - Ron Swanson

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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 12:01:23 AM   
Zorch

 

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No!!!! Everything on the Internet is 100% true!

I know, because I read it on the Internet.

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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 12:08:54 AM   
wdolson

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Historiker

Time zone question


Right....

quote:


I always thought about starting a business that edits "men-versions" of movies. Cutting all that "heart-crap" out and leaving the male rest. Like that story of the love with a Japanese American in "Midawy", or áll that horrible romance scenes in Star Wars Episede II.


I actually like a fair number of "chick flicks". If the story is supposed to be about relationships, it's a good thing in the movie. But if it's supposed to be about something else, throwing in a relationship angle is just a pointless distraction and is usually pretty lame.

Bill

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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 12:14:58 AM   
Historiker


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The idea was to have a double DVD case with the regular version and a man version.
When I watch Midway again, I don't care about that "I am added for some PC reason and to get the movie at least somewhat attractive to women" crap...

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Without any doubt: I am the spawn of evil - and the Bavarian Beer Monster (BBM)!

There's only one bad word and that's taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors; it's good enough for you. - Ron Swanson

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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 12:29:26 AM   
mdiehl

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Historiker

The idea was to have a double DVD case with the regular version and a man version.
When I watch Midway again, I don't care about that "I am added for some PC reason and to get the movie at least somewhat attractive to women" crap...


IIRC if you watch the "original theatrical version" you get to miss most of the Miss Nakamura Loves Tom the pilot blah blah. As I recall, a whole bunch of that was added to the "made for teevee" release of Midway about a year after it went to the theaters.

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Didn't we have this conversation already?

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Post #: 12
RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 12:30:37 AM   
danlongman

 

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My GF always liked the movies with all the romantical stuff in them.
She always it made her in a better mood to...you know.
I told her thats what all the beer was for.
She's been gone for a while now......

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Post #: 13
RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 1:00:58 AM   
LargeSlowTarget


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Geschichtsklitterung!

The iceberg was most likely German, not Japanese.

In the German Federal Election in January 1912, the social-democratic party for the first time won more seats than any other party and made possible a majority coalition of groups hostile or ambivalent to the ruling elites of the German Empire.

In an attempt to increase support for conservative parties and policies and to distract the population from the social-democratic party, the ruling elites hoped to drum up patriotism in the time-honored way - by triggering an external conflict with the British, the antagonist of the Kaisereich and competing naval power.

Coincidentally (or not), in early 1912 the famous German geophysicist and meteorologist Alfred Wegener - well-known for proposing the theory of continental drift - found himself on a "scientific expedition" to Greenland in order to study - glaciers. The expedition almost came to grief when the glacier Wegener was surveying suddenly calved - the process quite probably having been triggered by the "probing" activities of Wegener. It is said that the resulting iceberg was the one which sank the Titanic. Obviously the sinking of the Titanic was the result of a conspiracy!

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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 1:03:33 AM   
Historiker


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Sehr schön, werter Herr Kollege!

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Without any doubt: I am the spawn of evil - and the Bavarian Beer Monster (BBM)!

There's only one bad word and that's taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors; it's good enough for you. - Ron Swanson

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Post #: 15
RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 1:37:21 AM   
Blacksheep

 

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Women and Children first!!! After reading this, I'll go down with the ship.

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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 1:57:00 AM   
Zorch

 

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I have always insisted there was a Titanic conspiracy, because April 14 was the day Lincoln was shot.
It can't possibly be a coincidence that both events happened on April 14, and the victim died/sunk on the 15th.

Perhaps the German expedition contained a confederate sympathizer, a distant relative of John Wilkes Booth?
And Federal taxes are due on April 15th as well! So the IRS is in on the conspiracy.

There's something under my bed, I just know it.

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Post #: 17
RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 2:05:27 AM   
Historiker


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Ze Germanz! It is always ze Germanz!

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Without any doubt: I am the spawn of evil - and the Bavarian Beer Monster (BBM)!

There's only one bad word and that's taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors; it's good enough for you. - Ron Swanson

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Post #: 18
RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 4:56:18 AM   
bradfordkay

 

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No, it was neither the Germans nor the Japanese: it was the Danes!!! (I'm fairly sure that the iceberg came form Greenland.) Let's just blame it all on Termie... if his ancestors hadn't plotted against the Titanic then Leonard DiCaprio would never have become a big star...

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fair winds,
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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 6:05:32 AM   
Gräfin Zeppelin


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You guys realy think the titanic movie was the lowest point ? So naive.......





You also think that movie which shall youknowthejazz was the dumbest war movie in the pacific ever ? I beg to differ.




The only time ever I was close to punching my husband was after watching windtalkers and he asked me if I liked it.



< Message edited by Gräfin Zeppelin -- 4/15/2012 6:09:54 AM >


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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 6:23:17 AM   
bradfordkay

 

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Grafin, while Windtalkers was bad it came nowhere near the level of historical inaccuracy of TMTSNBN. I am so glad that my father, who was famous for criticizing historical inaccuracies in war films ("those buttons on that jacket were three inches too high"), was not alive to see TMTSNBN as I fully believe it would have given him a stroke...

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fair winds,
Brad

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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 6:28:56 AM   
Gräfin Zeppelin


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Well one can argue that way of course. TMTSNBN was a strange movie and as you say HORRIBLE inaccurate, but at least it was a movie (kind of). I dunno what windtalkers was...it felt for me like a realy bad acid trip or so.
The sad truth for me is TMTSNBN > Windtalkers. For what ever its worth.

I know this is like saying episode three is better than episode one (star wars) well both suck but...... argh...this is all suddenly so depressing.

< Message edited by Gräfin Zeppelin -- 4/15/2012 6:33:43 AM >


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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 6:47:58 AM   
Empire101


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Historiker

EJakobshavn Isbræ type Iceberg rams xAP Titanic
xAP Titanic is hit six times
xAP Titanic is taking a lot of water
xAP Titanic's band restarts playing
xAP Titanic is sinking
xAP Titanic breaks in half
xAP Titanic Leonardo di Caprio is finally gone
xAP Titanic the watching girls are crying





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Our lives may be more boring than those who lived in apocalyptic times,
but being bored is greatly preferable to being prematurely dead because of some ideological fantasy.
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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 6:50:44 AM   
Gräfin Zeppelin


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I liked Titanic *pouts* I never understood the hype but it was a nice movie.

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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 6:52:50 AM   
Empire101


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Gräfin Zeppelin

I liked Titanic *pouts* I never understood the hype but it was a nice movie.


Now if you want to see a 'proper' Titanic film then you must watch 'A Night To Remember'. My Favourite!!


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Our lives may be more boring than those who lived in apocalyptic times,
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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 6:56:42 AM   
Gräfin Zeppelin


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gräfin Zeppelin

I liked Titanic *pouts* I never understood the hype but it was a nice movie.


Now if you want to see a 'proper' Titanic film then you must watch 'A Night To Remember'. My Favourite!!


Man that movie is certainly in another league then Camerons Titanic.

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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 7:02:36 AM   
Empire101


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Gräfin Zeppelin


quote:

ORIGINAL: Empire101


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gräfin Zeppelin

I liked Titanic *pouts* I never understood the hype but it was a nice movie.


Now if you want to see a 'proper' Titanic film then you must watch 'A Night To Remember'. My Favourite!!


Man that movie is certainly in another league then Camerons Titanic.


I could'nt agree with you more Grafin!!



_____________________________

Our lives may be more boring than those who lived in apocalyptic times,
but being bored is greatly preferable to being prematurely dead because of some ideological fantasy.
- Michael Burleigh


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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 3:22:14 PM   
witpqs

 

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A Night to Remember is excellent!

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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 5:41:45 PM   
Knavey

 

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Boy did this thread get hijacked! Matrix, FIX YOUR GAME! This could never have happened in real life. We all know the Titanic was unsinkable.



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RE: This game is borked! - 4/15/2012 5:42:42 PM   
Historiker


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Knavey

Boy did this thread get hijacked! Matrix, FIX YOUR GAME! This could never have happened in real life. We all know the Titanic was unsinkable.



Finally a true expert on this topic shows up!

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Without any doubt: I am the spawn of evil - and the Bavarian Beer Monster (BBM)!

There's only one bad word and that's taxes. If any other word is good enough for sailors; it's good enough for you. - Ron Swanson

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