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If Bertram Wooster Ran the War - TheGreatWent vs Feurer Krieg: Da Big Babes 28C

 
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If Bertram Wooster Ran the War - TheGreatWent vs Feurer... - 1/27/2012 1:01:38 AM   
thegreatwent


Posts: 3009
Joined: 8/24/2004
From: Denver, CO
Status: offline
*** Classified ***
*** No Feurer Krieg release permitted ***


If Bertram Wooster Ran the War


TheGreatWent vs Feurer Krieg: Da Big Babes 28C

(with apologies to P.G. Wodehouse)

I think a bit of explanation may be in order. I am currently playing a Scenario 1 campaign 2x2 game with FK as my fellow commander. As I learned a trick or two from playing with my accomplished co-commander he sensed in me an opponent that he would love to bludgeon. Somewhat inebriated by our early victories as Japan I accepted his challenge. We banged together some house rules and he suggested a modification called Da Big Babes. I thought "Hey, each to his own. Ruben certainly had a defined taste." So both retreated to our corners to begin the match.

Now I, being a keen student of history, started to consider how I should record my thoughts for posterity. No doubt cognoscente in later days would look back and wonder what a chap like me was about while saving the Allied world. I looked to the records I have of commander's analysis and thought to myself "Self. Mahan, Nimitz, Halsey, these learned coves are not in line with your thinking. Bertie is your man, one whose hat hanger was picked for ornamentation rather than ideas."

So I will attempt to offer a homage to P.G. Wodehouse and his creations Wooster and Jeeves. If I capture just a pale reflection of his brilliance and convey my method of approaching WitP:AE than I will be satisfied.

My opponent's AAR is entitled Excel Empire - F Krieg vs Great Went - Da Big Babes 28C and will no doubt be dedicated to various forms of propaganda, spreadsheets and farm reports. I've no trouble imagining that it will be more lucid than my portrayal of the war as Jeeves has warned me to tell you, dear reader, that Bertram is at best an unreliable narrator. The recommended adult dose of Wooster's society is only two days and should never be taken immoderately. With all of this out of the way allons-y.


Sincerely yours,

T.G.W.

Post #: 1
RE: If Bertram Wooster Ran the War - TheGreatWent vs Fe... - 3/16/2012 11:47:11 PM   
thegreatwent


Posts: 3009
Joined: 8/24/2004
From: Denver, CO
Status: offline
*** December 6, 1941 ***
*** Singapore ***

One of the greatest shocks of my life was being picked by Winston to take over direction of the Pacific. It wasn't really the sort of thing I was used to. Certainly my chums looked to me for advice or directions regarding some peccadillo or another but overseeing a war looked like it may require more effort.

My first order of business was to improve morale, I immediately ordered a that a party to celebrate our coming victory be held. This, after all, was more in line with my strengths. Picking beverages and menus was far preferable to identifying the axis of advance that my inscrutable opponent might use.

At Jeeve's insistence I selected a first line of defense if there was an attack. Singapore, Kendari, Ambon and Port Moresby would be the southern region. Fall back positions to be prepared in Darwin, Soerabaja and Port Blair. To prevent a Mersing landing I ordered Prince of Wales and Repulse north.

In the Philippines I ordered a phased withdrawal of air units and a bastion to be made at Clark Field with a fall back to Corregidor. The U.S. Navy was to evacuate what it could with submarines interdicting the Imperial Japanese Navy. Houston I ordered to Pearl Harbor attacking any surface task forces it came across. I felt that this would certainly surprise my foes.

In China I ordered that forces be sent to Changsha and the woods SE of Sian to preserve those centers. The naval and air units in Hong Kong I ordered out. To help the remaining defenders I lifted the limits on drink and suspended all courts martial. I hoped they would be a jolly bunch of lads enthused to do battle with the encroaching Japanese menace.

With my orders written and transmitted via an overly dour Jeeves I selected a new hat from Panama that he disagreed with and went out to drink the King's health with the boys from the aerodrome.


< Message edited by thegreatwent -- 4/5/2012 6:12:47 PM >

(in reply to thegreatwent)
Post #: 2
RE: If Bertram Wooster Ran the War - TheGreatWent vs Fe... - 3/17/2012 4:26:35 PM   
Capt. Harlock


Posts: 4297
Joined: 9/15/2001
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline
quote:

Houston I ordered to Pearl Harbor attacking any surface task forces it came across. I felt that this would certainly surprise my foes.


If Houston runs into the KB it will be a surprise indeed. This looks like it could be fun!

_____________________________

Civil war? What does that mean? Is there any foreign war? Isn't every war fought between men, between brothers?

--Victor Hugo

(in reply to thegreatwent)
Post #: 3
RE: If Bertram Wooster Ran the War - TheGreatWent vs Fe... - 4/4/2012 10:01:25 PM   
thegreatwent


Posts: 3009
Joined: 8/24/2004
From: Denver, CO
Status: offline
*** December 7, 1941 ***
*** Singapore ***

I awoke this morning with the unpleasant feeling that war was not going to observe my schedule. I observed a bright light, a pounding sensation in my head and the sound of a siren. Of course this was only Jeeves turning on the light. "Jeeves," I asked "What is all of that racket about?"

"It is the air raid siren and the steam shovels at work, sir."

"Steam shovels?" I asked, I wasn't particularly aware of how one would use a steam shovel in the face of a determined Japanese landing.
"Yes sir, at the party last night you decided that it might be a good idea to build defenses facing landward. You were very insistent that it begin immediately."

Jeeves looked all too smug at my gasping of expression of wonder. "What about the siren then?"

"Well sir, the Japanese have attacked several sites in Malaysia and China but the their main focus seems to be on Manila." As I made no effort to speak he continued. "Also the Prince of Wales and Repulse have been badly damaged near Mersing by two engine torpedo bombers, the may not make it back to Singapore."

"I say Jeeves, this is a bit much. What about our planes that were supposed to escort those ships?"

"Sadly sir very few of the pilots were able to pilot a plane this morning. Those that did were only vaguely aware there weren't fighting the Hun. It seems they had all been at a party as you may recall."

This seemed to strike true as I was vaguely aware of some celebration the night before. "Well have we pushed back the Japanese? Given them a good smack and sent them on there way?"

"No sir." said Jeeves staidly.

What followed was a laundry list of losses including numerous transports, twelve submarines in Manila as well as the loss of Aparri and Vigan to ground troops. In short a disaster. Reeling, I ordered increased air patrols and for the remaining fleet in Manila to sortie. Perhaps the tide could be regained.

One bright spot came from a strike of Vildebeests near Kota Bharu that sank the transport Tamaki Maru along with the troops on board. It seemed small consolation.


< Message edited by thegreatwent -- 4/5/2012 6:13:10 PM >

(in reply to Capt. Harlock)
Post #: 4
RE: If Bertram Wooster Ran the War - TheGreatWent vs Fe... - 4/4/2012 10:03:43 PM   
thegreatwent


Posts: 3009
Joined: 8/24/2004
From: Denver, CO
Status: offline
quote:

If Houston runs into the KB it will be a surprise indeed. This looks like it could be fun!


Thanks Harlock, I expect FK to give me all I can handle so the ups and downs of this game should make for an amusing, if occasionally embarrassing AAR.

TGW

(in reply to thegreatwent)
Post #: 5
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