From: Jackson Tn
Oh No! potential disaster has befallen the project. Having thought he had a perfect match with Robbie Coltrane, Steven Spielberg advises me that is not the case: One leg - check, six webbed fingers on left hand - check, 4ft 10 - check, weght 350lbs - check. What is the problem I hear you ask? Well Coltrane comes from Lanarkshire in Scotland, but Ambrose was of course a highlander. There is simply no way that Coltrane, great actor though he is, can carry off the accent of a resident of Inverness. The highly attuned American cinema-going public will simply not buy Coltrane as Ambrose because of this; his Lanarkshire tones will stand out a mile.
Moaned Spielberg "I think the project is off. Getting the accent right is everything - look what happened when Disney got an American to do a cockney accent. Yes, that's right, you end up with Dick van Dyke, playing Bert, the first South African chimney sweep in Edwardian London - Disaster".
Spielberg continues "The speech of the middle classes in Scotland tends to conform to the grammatical norms of the written standard, particularly in situations that are regarded as formal. Highland English is slightly different from the variety spoken in the Lowlands in that it is more phonologically, grammatically, and lexically influenced by a Gaelic substratum".
Spielberg droned on "Scottish English is a rhotic accent, meaning /r/ is pronounced in the syllable coda. As with Received Pronunciation, /r/ may be an alveolar approximant [ɹ], although it is also common that a speaker will use an alveolar tap [ɾ]. Less common is use of the alveolar trill [r] (hereafter, <r> will be used to denote any rhotic consonant)".
So there you have it - no idea what the man is talking about, but it sounds serious.....
I knew I could depend on you to get the real story. As for that "highly attuned" American cinema going publi..."
Spielberg sure did drone one, so much so that I would suspect you were nearly ready to launch a drone at him. But at least after reading that tale I now know Spielberg is a TOOL.
"I hate newspapermen. They come into camp and pick up their camp rumors and print them as facts. I regard them as spies, which, in truth, they are. If I killed them all there would be news from Hell before breakfast."- W.T. Sherman