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too good not to share - 11/4/2010 9:24:53 PM   
CV2

 

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How to wash a toilet

This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you.

1. Put both lids of the toilet up

And add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid.
You may need to stand on the lid.


4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.
Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.


5. Flush the toilet three or four times.
This provides a 'power-wash' and rinse'.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home.
Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom,
And run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean..
Post #: 1
RE: too good not to share - 11/4/2010 9:31:45 PM   
Zap


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From: LAS VEGAS TAKE A CHANCE
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Not funny. Cruel joke for animal lovers lovers


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Post #: 2
RE: too good not to share - 11/4/2010 11:10:50 PM   
Jevhaddah


Posts: 568
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If yoo grab a cat by the tail and use spray starch on em, the stiffen and make great Loofah's

I'll get my coat

PS I iz a cat lover.... don't tell the wife

Cheers

Jev

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Post #: 3
RE: too good not to share - 11/4/2010 11:14:43 PM   
gabeeg


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LOL...that was funny....I have a cat...a good cat...I am a dog person, I might give it a go.

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Post #: 4
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 1:19:58 AM   
sabre1


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I laughed till I cried, thanks so much. I needed that laugh today.

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Post #: 5
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 3:21:35 AM   
E

 

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People say that it's hard to bathe cats. That is absolutely not true. They are easy to bathe. The only problem is that you get all that hair on your tongue.

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Post #: 6
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 9:03:38 AM   
ilovestrategy


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I liked #6! 

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Post #: 7
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 10:21:04 AM   
Anguille


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Not funny

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Post #: 8
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 10:29:09 AM   
Hertston


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Post #: 9
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 11:31:45 AM   
JudgeDredd


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No - you're correct Anguille - if you don't have a sense of humour it's not funny.

It's a harmless joke - I'm sure CV2 (though I know nothing of him) is not condoning or suggesting people use a cat for cleaning toilets.

It'll be "Nail 'em up I say...nail 'em to the cross" (about 4mins 50secs in) for comedians next!!

< Message edited by JudgeDredd -- 11/5/2010 11:32:08 AM >


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Post #: 10
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 12:25:45 PM   
ckammp

 

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There is nothing funny about the torture of animals.

Anyone who claims to find "humour" in such a topic has serious problems.

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Post #: 11
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 1:00:06 PM   
Anguille


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JudgeDredd

No - you're correct Anguille - if you don't have a sense of humour it's not funny.

It's a harmless joke - I'm sure CV2 (though I know nothing of him) is not condoning or suggesting people use a cat for cleaning toilets.


I am not suggesting that CV2 is supporting that. I have a very good sense of humour, including "humour noir"...i think however that it's not possible to make fun with some things like: racism, handicaped persons or torturing animals for instance. That's my point of view.

Cheers

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Post #: 12
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 1:00:19 PM   
JudgeDredd


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Oh - I'm sorry. I must've missed it...right - who's tortured animals in here??? Come on...own up?

seriously...get a life

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Post #: 13
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 1:02:38 PM   
JudgeDredd


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To be clear - this (and the like) is wrong

What CV2 has done is not wrong. You just need to have a look under the sofa for your sense of humour. And if you don't mind, I won't bother taking on board your analysis of my mental state

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Post #: 14
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 1:08:38 PM   
Anguille


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JudgeDredd
To be clear - this (and the like) is wrong


Well...that is more than wrong, it's sick. We agree

PS: any chance you love Big Country or Justin Currie?

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Post #: 15
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 1:17:07 PM   
Floyd

 

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Women in my office told me their cats are more like that:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0ffwDYo00Q




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Post #: 16
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 1:49:04 PM   
JudgeDredd


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I was a big fan of Big Country in the '80s and '90s - I don't really listen to much music now and if I do, it's normally '70s or '80s stuff

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Post #: 17
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 3:57:46 PM   
CV2

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JudgeDredd

It's a harmless joke - I'm sure CV2 (though I know nothing of him) is not condoning or suggesting people use a cat for cleaning toilets.



Actually I learned 2 things about cleaning the toilet with this method. Firstly, don't try it a 2nd time with a cat with claws. Secondly, don't use kittens because they disappear in the rinse.


quote:

ORIGINAL: ilovestrategy

I liked #6!


4 was my favorite


quote:

ORIGINAL: Zap

Not funny. Cruel joke for animal lovers lovers



You are correct. No animal lover could ever find any humor in this. Glad I'm not one. Raised on a farm. Brother is a veterinarian.

1964-75 Queenie [Kabee] (dog) (11 years old died of cancer)
1972-94 Snoopy [Snoop Kee] (cat) (22 years old died of old age)
1980-99 Serenia [Ugly] (cat) (19 years old died of old age)
1985-88 Lulu [Fat Cat] (cat) (7 years old, was 4 when we get her dying of feline leukemia)
1986-95 Midnight (cat) (9 years old went missing after White Kitty died - assume he couldn't live with himself anymore)
1988-99 Missy [Missle] (dog) (11 years old died of cancer)
1990-95 White Kitty (cat) (8 years old, was 2 when we got her killed by neighbors dog)
1991-07 Trouble (dog) (16 years old died of natural causes)
1996-02 Spot (cat) (10 years old, was 4 when we got her died of kidney failure)
1995-09 Blackie (cat) (14 years old died of cancer)
2003-xx Velcore [Scat Cat] (7 years old still alive)
2008-xx Lexicon ["L.T." Little Trouble] (dog) (2 years old still alive)

Also intermingled in there have been various canaries, finches, fish, turtles, a fox, and a raccoon (got from a local game warden and kept for 3 years).

Good thing I hate animals so I can find stories like this funny

< Message edited by CV2 -- 11/5/2010 4:00:26 PM >

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Post #: 18
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 6:30:33 PM   
Jeffrey H.


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Great way to get the fleas off it too !

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Post #: 19
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 7:04:34 PM   
Rockhopper

 

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I love cats.

I just can't finish a whole one.

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Post #: 20
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 7:58:55 PM   
E

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rockhopper

I love cats.

I just can't finish a whole one.



Two points awarded!

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Post #: 21
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 8:58:52 PM   
Alfred

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rockhopper

I love cats.

I just can't finish a whole one.



Sure your real name isn't Alf? Suppose not, Alf would merely view a single cat as a light snack.

Alfred

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Post #: 22
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 9:07:18 PM   
spellir74

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zap

Not funny. Cruel joke for animal lovers lovers




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Post #: 23
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 9:24:19 PM   
spellir74

 

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quote:

Rockhopper

I love cats.

I just can't finish a whole one.



lol

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Post #: 24
RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 10:56:01 PM   
Jevhaddah


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We have 4 cats a dog and a 49 yo tortoise all of whom are fully paid up members of the family. I do not condone cruelty in any form but my time served in the Police Force and Royal Navy helped to ... erm... expand my sense of humour.

The jokes above are no more cruel to ACTUAL animals than a Tom and Jerry cartoon on the telly or in a comic.

If someone uses cartoons or jokes as an excuse for torturing anyone or anything then it's obvious that they have issues far deeper than cartoon violence or animal jokes and should seek help.


I do'nt know how it is for others who have served or are serving in the Armed Forces of their country, but for me some of the humour was very dark indeed and was in itself a way to relieve preasure or stress.

Sorry for the ramble. but I try to see the sense of the ridiculous in most things

When in port or close to shore when seagulls are flying overhead take one piece of bread dipped in mustard, throw it into the air and time who long it stays up in the sky.

Great fun and no person or animal is hurt in the experiment

Cheers

Jev

Edited for spelin ken



< Message edited by Jevhaddah -- 11/5/2010 10:58:11 PM >


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RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 11:19:55 PM   
warspite1


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When my elder brother came home on leave halfway through his basic training at HMS Raleigh he brought a present for his younger brother - the pressie was a book' by the name of "101 uses for a dead cat". I recall one of the uses being a pencil sharpener (can you guess where the pencil went?) .

I no longer have the book but I recall that at the time it was very funny. Oddly enough, here I am thirty years later and even though I read that book many times, I have never felt the urge in all that time to act cruelly to any animal and certainly not to any cat.......

If we carry on going as we are (and I suspect the UK is not alone in this madness), it will soon be a criminal offence to laugh at anything and we will all live in fear of being reported to the hate crime police for daring to tell a joke. Meanwhile, the person making the complaint can be so "distressed" and "upset" that they can then claim thousands in com-pen-say-shun .

Please, people get a grip!

Rant Over....



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RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 11:23:26 PM   
Arctic Blast


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jevhaddah

We have 4 cats a dog and a 49 yo tortoise all of whom are fully paid up members of the family. I do not condone cruelty in any form but my time served in the Police Force and Royal Navy helped to ... erm... expand my sense of humour.

The jokes above are no more cruel to ACTUAL animals than a Tom and Jerry cartoon on the telly or in a comic.

If someone uses cartoons or jokes as an excuse for torturing anyone or anything then it's obvious that they have issues far deeper than cartoon violence or animal jokes and should seek help.


I do'nt know how it is for others who have served or are serving in the Armed Forces of their country, but for me some of the humour was very dark indeed and was in itself a way to relieve preasure or stress.

Sorry for the ramble. but I try to see the sense of the ridiculous in most things

When in port or close to shore when seagulls are flying overhead take one piece of bread dipped in mustard, throw it into the air and time who long it stays up in the sky.

Great fun and no person or animal is hurt in the experiment

Cheers

Jev

Edited for spelin ken




49? How long does a tortoise live?

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RE: too good not to share - 11/5/2010 11:43:45 PM   
Jevhaddah


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I think she will live for at least another 50 years. She is quite a handful when she stomps off around the house. The cats use her as a pillow and she burrows into them by the coal fire

Cheers

Jev

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RE: too good not to share - 11/6/2010 3:34:30 AM   
Jeffrey H.


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jevhaddah


When in port or close to shore when seagulls are flying overhead take one piece of bread dipped in mustard, throw it into the air and time who long it stays up in the sky.




We used to tie a long piece of fishing line to an apple core and the other end to a styrofoam cup. When the bird, (sea gulls) grabbed the core it would take off before all it's buddies would try and swoop in and steal it. After about 50 feet of flying it would realize that ther cup was following it and go into some super turbo evasive maneuvers which were really fun to watch. Eventually it would panic and drop the apple core and the fun would start all over again when another one would pick it up.



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Post #: 29
RE: too good not to share - 11/6/2010 5:40:17 PM   
Prince of Eckmühl


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This thread raises some interesting questions involving peoples' sensibilities.

There's a perfectly moronic television series that airs in the USA that's called "America's Funniest Home Videos." Many of the incidents involve a mishap of some sort, a nasty fall, for instance. I've never been able to watch more than a few minutes of it. My reaction is always, "that's not *******" funny, not one bit." What I'm processing is the reality that the mishap (or prank) is a hairs-width away from producing paralysis, brain-damage or death in "the butt of the joke." Of course, such an outcome couldn't be presented on network television as entertainment, so it would have to air on cable. This is a good thing. People who watch cable-TV invariably have better senses of humor than other folks. Hey, wasn't "Jackass" a cable program?


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