Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

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Cap Mandrake
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Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

Post by Cap Mandrake »

The lure of finding the Golden Ticket was too great so I bought a case of AE chocolate bars.

Sprior and I will be spending way to much free time contesting for the control of a bunch of 1's and 0's (with no real world consequence) vs. the Rocky Mountain Boys (Nomand and Adm. Nelson), who will doubtless likewise be neglecting their significant others and deferring personal hygeine time.

I will be commanding the American forces and Canada Command while Lord Admiral Sprior will be commanding Chinese, Commonwealth and Dutch forces as well as SWPAC.

We are not quite sure but I think the Emperor's boys will be doing an IJN/IJA thing.

Scenario 2
PDU on
No double down after splitting
Right field is closed
Winners outs
Yada, yada, yada

Sit down and buckle up!

Japanese counterthread, Imperials Sons-- There is no Diego Garcia Here at

tm.asp?m=2374536
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Cuttlefish
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RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

Post by Cuttlefish »

Cap takes the AE plunge! I'm looking forward to reading this one.

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Canoerebel
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RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

Post by Canoerebel »

Yeah, Cap is back at it!  This is a good day for those who enjoy well-written, informative, and humorous AARs!
"Rats set fire to Mr. Cooper’s store in Fort Valley. No damage done." Columbus (Ga) Enquirer-Sun, October 2, 1880.
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ny59giants
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RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

Post by ny59giants »

Caution - Do NOT read this AAR with liquids in your mouth!! [:D]
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Cap Mandrake
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Opana Point

Post by Cap Mandrake »

*****Opana Pt. Radar Station, Oahu, 07:04, Dec. 7, 1941******

Pvt. Lockard: Come on Elliot! Quit ****ing around. Turn that thing off. It's after 7. Let's get some damn food.

Pvt. Elliot: <hunched over the oscilliscope> No, wait, look at this.

Pvt. Lockard: <returns to oscilliscope> Holy Crap! That is the biggest return I have ever seen. Get over there and plot it. <the other man returns to his plotting station> RANGE 132 miles.....BEARING.....<turns a handle>.....THREE ONE ZERO.

Pvt. Elliot: Range 132, bearing 310, roger. I am calling it in. <hand cranks the administrative telephone> Information Center this is Opana, get me the Pursuit Officer.

Voice over phone: That's Lt. Tyler. He's in the crapper.

Pvt. Elliot: Well GET him!

Voice over phone: Oh, all right. hang on.

Pvt. Lockard: Range 130, bearing three one two!

Pvt. Elliot: Roger that, Range 130, bearing 312.

New voice over phone: <annoyed>This is Tyler, what do you want?

Pvt. Elliot: Lt., this is Elliot, sir at Opana. We have a large radar contact.

Lt. Tyler: What are you guys still operating for? Shut it down.

Pvt. Elliot: But sir, what about the contact?

Lt. Tyler: Are you idiots picking up the radio station antenna again?

Pvt. Elliot: No sir, wrong azimuth.

Lt. Tyler: Well, probably marsh gas or something.

Pvt. Elliot: The contact is 130 miles out over the Pacific, sir.

Lt. Tyler: Then perhaps the mail plane from Midway.

Pvt. Elliot: Too big, sir. Lockard says it is the biggest return he has ever seen.

Lt. Tyler: Hell, migratory birds then.

Pvt. Elliot: Sir, we are tracking the target at...<makes a quick calculation> 3 miles a minute sir.

Lt. Tyler: Alright damnit. It's probably the 17's coming in from the mainland.

Pvt. Elliot: Sir, it's the wrong heading for that. they are inbound from the NW, sir.

Lt. Tyler: Damnit, Elliot. Are you slow on the uptake?

Pvt. Elliot: Sir? The target is unidentified and head for Oahu, shouldn't we notify someone?

Lt. Tyler: Listen, you guys didn't see anything. You were supposed to turn off the damn set. It won't do any good to notify anyone. It's the House Rules, damnit! We can't change any air or naval orders on turn 1 at Pearl. This comes from the top.

Pvt. Elliot: The Colonel, you mean sir?

Lt. Tyler: Nope.

Pvt. Elliot: General Short?

Lt. Tyler: Nope.

Pvt. Elliot: You mean General Marsahall?!!!!?

Lt. Tyler: No, above him.

Pvt. Elliot: Holy crap, sir!

Lt. Tyler: Exactly, private! Holy Crap! Now turn off the damn set and get back to Shafter and have your God damned powdered eggs and keep your damn mouths shut. Is that clear?

Pvt. Elliot: Yes sir.

Lt. Tyler: Thank you...and Elliot?

Pvt. Elliot: Yes sir?

Lt. Tyler: If this comes to an inquiry, Elliot, we are sticking with the 17's theory, got it?
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fabertong
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RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

Post by fabertong »

I never had a chance to shine
Never a happy song to sing
But suddenly half the world is mine
What an amazing thing

'Cause I've got a golden ticket

...........Go Mr. Cap. Mandrake
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Mynok
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RE: Opana Point

Post by Mynok »

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Pvt. Elliot: You mean General Marsahall?!!!!?

Lt. Tyler: No, above him.

Pvt. Elliot: Holy crap, sir!

First time I've heard Grigsby called that..... [:D]
"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown
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Chickenboy
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RE: Opana Point

Post by Chickenboy »

Whether you spell it POE or EOP, I'm really looking forward to your original take on the war, Cap'n.
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aprezto
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RE: Opana Point

Post by aprezto »

At last, I get to read one of these from the beginning
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sprior
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RE: Opana Point

Post by sprior »

Oh bugger, what have I let myself in for?
"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.

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sprior
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RE: Opana Point

Post by sprior »

China is still somewhat of a mystery to me from the allied side so I guess we'll just make it up as we go along.

New Guinea and New Britain will stay SWPAC and the Solomns and Noumea SOUTHPAC. Later we can adjust that line as necessary.

I'm not going to reinforce Malaya/Singapore or Burma. I'll not garrison Rangoon strongly but it's a bit of a death trap so will defend Burma along the Mandalay railway.
"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.

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Mynok
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RE: Opana Point

Post by Mynok »


So this is where you're charging about with all the king's horses and all the king's men?
"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Opana Point

Post by Cap Mandrake »

ORIGINAL: sprior

Oh bugger, what have I let myself in for?


"Don't go wobbly on us, Sprior." (Attributed to Famous English Chick)



[;)]
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sprior
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RE: Opana Point

Post by sprior »

ORIGINAL: Mynok


So this is where you're charging about with all the king's horses and all the king's men?

More like Andy Pandy and the Brigade of Rabbits



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"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.

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witpqs
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RE: Opana Point

Post by witpqs »

Good name for the AAR!

"A beginning is a very delicate time."
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Cap Mandrake
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Work Rerated Injuy

Post by Cap Mandrake »

From "Aboard the Blue Dragon", Ens. I. Yamaguchi, Kyoto Press, 1952.

"...during the voyage before the attack on the American base at Oahu, there were a series of back injuries among aircraft armorers during practice drills. Consequently, the ship's surgeon, Commander Hata, ordered that no bombs over 64kg in weight be loaded during drills. Tragically, this order was mistaken by the Chief Arming Officer, whose name I can no longer recall, to include preparations for the Dec 7th attack as well. After Dec. 7, none ever saw the Chief Surgeon or the Chief Arming Officer again....."
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Cap Mandrake
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63.5 kg of molten death

Post by Cap Mandrake »

A Val from Soryu dives on USS Oklahoma, Dec 7, 1941

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Cap Mandrake
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Commander Hata's bad career move

Post by Cap Mandrake »

In the Dec. 7 attack on Pearl, there were only 7 torpedo hits (5 on BB's and 1 each on two DD's). Failing a second attack, no BB's will sink. Two DD's were sunk and were the only sinkings. No BB's are burning but all are moderately to severely damaged. Japanese aircraft losses were very light (<2% of the raid).

The airfield is wrecked and it is going to take a couple of Bob Hope and Betty Grable visits to get their morale up. I will send some flyable aircraft to outlying fields and may send some undamaged combatants out to sea in case their is an attack on the 8th.
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sprior
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RE: Commander Hata's bad career move

Post by sprior »

very little enemy movement observed in the ABDA area, 2 small units land in Malaya but just sit on the beach stealing all the deck chairs.
"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.

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sprior
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RE: Commander Hata's bad career move

Post by sprior »

Business as usual at Raffles.

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"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
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- Nigel Molesworth.

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