From: Winnipeg, MB
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
************Admiral's Daily Briefing, FOB Papaete, Feb. 5, 1943*********
Fleet Admiral Mandrake walks into room, surprising everyone. They quickly put down their Bloody Mary's and assume a business-like posture.
Moana: Admiral, we weren't expecting you.
Fleet Admiral Mandrake: Well, it's MY damn briefing, isn't it?
Lucha: Sure boss, it's just that..well you know.
Fleet Admiral Mandrake: You think the Japs are going to give you a warning?
Moana: In Tahiti, sir? You really think they mean to attack here? Isn't that why we have the HQ's here?
Fleet Admiral Mandrake: No, it's to be able to move North or West quickly if we are needed. Also, the girls are cuter than the ones on Tanna.
Lucha: Beasts is what I hear.
Fleet Admiral Mandrake: Yeah, that's what I heard too. Well, shall we start?
Moana: Yes, sir. <opens notes> There were several USN submarine attacks in the Sundas....
Fleet Admiral Mandrake: No, no, NO! Not that! Let the staff handle that. I want to talk about a nightmare I had. I dreamt I was attacked by a midget nurse. Nasty little bitch with fangs and a starched white uniform too. <shudders>
Moana: That must have been very frightenting, sir?
Fleet Admiral Mandrake: Nearly scared the living crap out of me, but I'm over it. What I want to know is what does it mean?
Moana: Mean, sir?
Fleet Admiral Mandrake: yeah. "Mean"....for operations and **** like that.
If said little white nurse [as opposed to LYB?] held an enema in one hand and a colono-scope in the other, the last line of your briefing is prescient...
No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth