How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

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GeneralFerraro
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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by GeneralFerraro »

Thank you all for the very interesting answers!! Although I got a bit of a scolding also, I think it's good to talk about this kind of issue. I feel much more confident now about not getting so absurdly obsessed with winning or losing. [;)]
aaatoysandmore
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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by aaatoysandmore »

ORIGINAL: GeneralFerraro

Thank you all for the very interesting answers!! Although I got a bit of a scolding also, I think it's good to talk about this kind of issue. I feel much more confident now about not getting so absurdly obsessed with winning or losing. [;)]

Wanna play a game? [:D]
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rico21
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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by rico21 »

ORIGINAL: aaatoysandmore

ORIGINAL: GeneralFerraro

Thank you all for the very interesting answers!! Although I got a bit of a scolding also, I think it's good to talk about this kind of issue. I feel much more confident now about not getting so absurdly obsessed with winning or losing. [;)]

Wanna play a game? [:D]
In Hell or Paradise?[:D]
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IainMcNeil
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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by IainMcNeil »

Just because you are losing now doesn't mean you will lose. I guess I'm too optimistic and always think I can recover so never really believe I'm losing until its over. Then I think "if only I'd done x/y/z, things would have been different". Winning players get over confident. I've seen plenty of games that looked lost turned around. You can also learn a lot by playing through a losing game.
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Jevhaddah
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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by Jevhaddah »

In real life as in gaming, I learn from defeat and move on. Losing is part of life.[8D]

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Capitaine
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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by Capitaine »

ORIGINAL: MrsWargamer

Losing happens, well maybe for you men :) I always win :)

Actually, nothing annoys me more, than winning when I realize the AI just did something inexcusable dumb. It ruins the win. Sort of like playing a 6-year-old girl, hard to get excited about beating her.

And I sure hate winning when a guy merely let me win to "pity the girl player" you so don't want to do that to me.

There are some games where the AI opponent is simply unable to play competitively. Those aren't 'wins'. A win never exists when you couldn't really lose.

Some games are precisely like chess though. Battle Academy is a good example. If you lose, you lose. Just accept the loss and move on.

Some games, they take soo much invested time to play out. I refuse to set up The Longest Day board game, and then surrender the landing to the dice. Too much work to set that game up just to throw away the effort in 5 minutes. Not to mention the game is already forcing random chance on you, as the game beaches all happened by chance, to begin with. I went to great efforts to research the historical losses in games terms for the end of D-Day+1 so I could move past that one moment in the game. Now I don't mind rolling the dice for a simpler design effort like Fortress Europa.

I've played Risk at a dollar per army lost. Rather a fun way to gamble :)

If you can't handle losing, chances are you are a poor winner too.
MrsWargamer, I don't know your background, but I can't express enough how great it is to hear a woman say and do things exactly in the manner many of us men say and do with these games. Nearly all women I know who've even been aware of these games just do not or cannot fathom their allure in any way. You are quite the unicorn.
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zakblood
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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by zakblood »

in my games, i tend to cry alot, then again i loose in so many, im kind of use to it now[;)]
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Mobeer
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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by Mobeer »

OP, I understand where you are coming from, but I think for me it's a bit more complicated.
- Losing can be fun if the game is close, or if there is reason to believe there is chance of success in the future. Games like that I continue with.
- It is not fun at all when losing by a large margin and where there is no real grounds for hope. If the Allies thrash Japan in the spring of 1942, or Russia outfights Germany in 1941, then there seems little reason to continue playing a long campaign that can only end one way.

I've often thought wargames could do with some form of adjustment mechanism (when playing for fun rather than for competition). I've done this in real world games:
- forgetting the touch-move rule in Chess
- ignoring the foul line when bowling
- letting whoever buys the most beer stand closest to the darts board

and seen it in video games:
- course time limits that slowly increase each time a player fails
- adjusting AI skills to match the player
- more luck for players at the back of a race

So why can't wargames do the same? One previous Pacific War idea I had was that if for example Allies badly beat Japan in 1942, then lots of Allied scheduled reinforcements are removed to fight the Axis. In the long term it helps the Allies as it frees up more Allied troops in 1944, but it could keep the game more competitive in 1943.

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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by Lecivius »

"Lose" is the opposite of "win." "Loose" is the opposite of "tight."

I lose [;)] [;)][:D]
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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by redcoat »

How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)


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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by Chickenboy »

Footage of Warspite1's sworn approach to how he handles wargame defeats:



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Chickenboy
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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by Chickenboy »

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E
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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by E »

ORIGINAL: redcoat
How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)
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FINALLY! A logical answer!
"Lose" is the opposite of "win." "Loose" is the opposite of "tight."

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warspite1
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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by warspite1 »

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Footage of Warspite1's sworn approach to how he handles wargame defeats:



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warspite1

What? So I comfort eat when I lose okay..... It's why I weigh 42 stone.
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EwaldvonKleist
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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by EwaldvonKleist »

Interesting discussion. If you don't like loosing, make sure you will win before the game even starts. If you prepare every game systematically and try to get an edge in game knowledge over your opponents, while at the same time playing very focused and meticously, you should be able to avoid some, if not most defeats.
E
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RE: How do you manage defeat? (psychologically)

Post by E »

ORIGINAL: EwaldvonKleist
Interesting discussion. If you don't like loosing, make sure you will win before the game even starts. If you prepare every game systematically and try to get an edge in game knowledge over your opponents, while at the same time playing very focused and meticously, you should be able to avoid some, if not most defeats.
Meticulously loose the dogs of war or you will lose the war? *ironic-grin*
"Lose" is the opposite of "win." "Loose" is the opposite of "tight."

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