A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Mandrake-san end up in hospitarh with probabry mararia and yerrow fever combined or something rike that. Fever, body aches, chirrs. Mandrake-san rorh around on couch at Seaside Virra for few days then decide something wrong.
Brood pressure 70/50 when show up. [X(] Imperiarh Japan-mens Navy armost have invoruntary command change at Truk Ragoon.

Crappy Rukanese doctors stir trying to figure out. Idiots keep asking Mandrake-san if go to
West Africa. Idiots! West Africa not-ahah on map.

Brud preshah too row, Cap'n! Hope no-ah hemorrhagic fevah or West-ah nire. [:(]

Prease to ret Chickenboysan know if need borrow wakazashi for honorabre exit strategy. Otherwise, get bettah soon! [&o]

[Cap Mandrake]

*********January 4, 1942(d)**********

Arried-mens brow everything up at Georgetown. This-ah seem odd considering prace probabry named after one of Arried-mens Emperors.
Perhaps Arried-mens trying to get strategic points or just to make Japan-mens angry.

Night Naval bombardment of Georgetown at 49,74

Allied Ships
CA Exeter
DD Encounter
DD Evertsen

Japanese ground losses:
206 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 8 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 17 disabled

Manpower hits 1
Heavy Industry hits 1
Fires 53
Airbase hits 10
Airbase supply hits 2
Runway hits 17
Port hits 9
Port fuel hits 1
Port supply hits 1

[Cap Mandrake]

1st Mysore Batarrion...HAHA...that-ah funny name. Mysore Bn now have-ah new booboo.

Ground combat at Taiping (49,75)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 348 troops, 0 guns, 70 vehicles, Assault Value = 76

Defending force 432 troops, 0 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 9

Japanese adjusted assault: 27

Allied adjusted defense: 3

Japanese assault odds: 9 to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), leaders(+), preparation(-), morale(-)
experience(-), supply(-)
Attacker: shock(+), fatigue(-)

Allied ground losses:
239 casualties reported
Squads: 13 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 14 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Units retreated 1

Defeated Allied Units Retreating!

Assaulting units:
1st Tank Regiment
14th Tank Regiment

Defending units:
1st Mysore Battalion

[Cap Mandrake]

Singapore: 3rd attack just-ah miss 1:1. Engineers take in shorts.

Ground combat at Singapore (50,84)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 35267 troops, 366 guns, 68 vehicles, Assault Value = 876

Defending force 24175 troops, 285 guns, 184 vehicles, Assault Value = 109

Japanese adjusted assault: 252

Allied adjusted defense: 263

Japanese assault odds: 1 to 2 (fort level 1)

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), preparation(-), experience(-)
Attacker: shock(+), disruption(-)

Japanese ground losses:
1220 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 33 disabled
Non Combat: 21 destroyed, 21 disabled
Engineers: 33 destroyed, 24 disabled
Vehicles lost 9 (8 destroyed, 1 disabled)

Allied ground losses:
1959 casualties reported
Squads: 63 destroyed, 20 disabled
Non Combat: 22 destroyed, 70 disabled
Engineers: 2 destroyed, 12 disabled
Guns lost 35 (19 destroyed, 16 disabled)
Vehicles lost 19 (5 destroyed, 14 disabled)

Assaulting units:
23rd Ind Engineer Regiment
4th Ind Engineer Regiment
12th Engineer Regiment
56th Infantry Regiment
15th Ind Engineer Regiment
21st Infantry Regiment
33rd Division
114th Infantry Regiment
55th Infantry Regiment
41st Infantry Regiment
3rd Ind. Mountain Gun Regiment
18th Medium Field Artillery Regiment
5th Field Artillery Regiment
25th Army
34th Field AA Battalion
3rd Medium Field Artillery Regiment
21st JAAF AF Bn

Defending units:
22nd Australian Brigade
2nd Loyal Battalion
2nd Gordons Battalion
3rd Cavalry Rgt /2
22nd Indian Mountain Gun Regiment
Malayan Air Wing
1st Indian Heavy AA Regiment
Singapore Fortress
1st HK&S Heavy AA Regiment
110th RAF Adv Base Force
1st Manchester Battalion
113th RAF Adv Base Force
24th NZ Pioneer Coy
30 Battery/3 HAA
111th RAF Adv Base Force
109th RN Base Force
2nd ISF Base Force
Singapore Base Force
2nd Malay Battalion
Malaya Army
AHQ Far East
III Indian Corps
2/17 Dogra Battalion
2nd HK&S Heavy AA Regiment
224 Group RAF
SSVF Bde /1

[Cap Mandrake]

Fiji: Japan-men carriers stop to rook at frying fish and miss opportunity to brow up Arried ships at Suva. Japan-mens not-ah afraid of coupurh of cruisers. Transports will continue toward Nadi.

[Chickenboy]

He rives! [&o]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

He rives! [&o]

Tuesday night Mandrake-san not-ah so sure. ICU send down charge nurse to decide if Mandrake-san go up next when one of rearry ord guys checks out.
Mandrake-san have 19th Century fever, rorring around in bed, moaning and compraining.

Charge Nurse: <Patronizing voice> They think you are breathing too fast, Mr. Mandrake.

Mandrake-san: It-ah not too fast. Onry in your universe.

Mandrake-san pretty sure Charge Nurse rearry minion of Grim Reaper. Back to Hades, she-bitch (who not understand increased metaboric state of fever)!

In morning, hospitarh send in psychiatrist to see Mandrake-san.

[Lecivius]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

In morning, hospitarh send in psychiatrist to see Mandrake-san.

There is a REALLY good joke in here....

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
In morning, hospitarh send in psychiatrist to see Mandrake-san.

From Ha-hajima schoor of psychiatry and baroon animar making?

Be-ah grad she-bitch no send in urororogist to "redo" Forey cathetah for the tenth time. "You can redo my Forey when you pry the Wakazashi from my cord dead fingahs!"

ETA: Rook at-ah bright side, Mandrake-san. You got to roose those stubborn 20 pounds you've been-ah trying to roose for many moons. Time to put-ah them back with Hendrick's, Robster and Chocorate.

[Cap Mandrake]

So they packed Mandrake-san into amburance to go to big hospitahr and Mandrake-san in back with cute 22 year ord
chatty EMT, not-ah Japan-womans but definitery from somewhere in Greater Co-Prosperity Sphere. Mandrake-san not-ah cut hairs on face for 2 days and basicarry not-ah sreep ronger than 45 minutes for 2 days either.

Cute 22 year ord chatty EMT, not-ah Japan-womans but definitery
from somewhere in Greater Co-Prosperity Sphere <rooks at data sheet> WOW! People we pick up your age usually look waaaay worse! [X(]

[Cap Mandrake]

Arried-mens troopships spotted East of Hiro before Mandrake-san catch yerrow fever courd be rotta praces by now so Mandrake-san decide review forward defenses.

Baker Isrand: Speciarry trained seagurr recon unit sitting in wooden cages on beach.
If Arried-mens show up, SPCA representative rerease birds and birds fry to Canton Isrand then
Japan-mens figure out what-ah happening.

Canton Isrand: 2nd Bn/66th NG, 40 mines, Kamikawa Maru for seaprane support but no seapranes yet. This-ah seem pretty crappy.

Pago Pago: Maizuru SNLF, 32 aviation spport, 74 AV, 54 mines, 9 Mavis, 3 Jake, E-boat. Japan-mens might be aburh to handurh 1 USMC Regt but not for rong.

[Cap Mandrake]

Situation near Chengchow (Japan-mens begin to enverope China-mens biggest dog food factory

[Cap Mandrake]

OK..what-ah probrem? Why this crappy Craude Daitai not want spiffy new Zeroes?

They are sitting at Truk with prenty suppry.

Too far from Air HQ (STILL AT MALEOLAP)?

[Cap Mandrake]

Sometimes Mandrake-san think war too compricated...OK, Mandrake-san ovah it.

[Mike McCreery]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Sometimes Mandrake-san think war too compricated...OK, Mandrake-san ovah it.

Either you have less than 25000 supply, the base does not have a level 7 airfield or the unit is a fragment of another unit that needs to be combined to upgrade.

[Cap Mandrake]

Infantry and combat engineers at Singapore beat up pretty badry but everyone on Japan-mens side having good time

[Cap Mandrake]

Just a few wasted erectrons here.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Wargmr

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Sometimes Mandrake-san think war too compricated...OK, Mandrake-san ovah it.

Either you have less than 25000 supply, the base does not have a level 7 airfield or the unit is a fragment of another unit that needs to be combined to upgrade.

Rever 7? Hory crap! Who make-ah stupid rure?

[Cap Mandrake]

Miseraburh rist of Arried-mens ships sunk. Onry good news is no Japan-mens ships in same crasses sunk.

[Cap Mandrake]

AP losses. Possibry Japan-mens make some stuff up.