A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[Cap Mandrake]

Kuching: Japan-mens own it.

Ground combat at Kuching (58,88)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 3497 troops, 18 guns, 42 vehicles, Assault Value = 170

Defending force 1731 troops, 9 guns, 4 vehicles, Assault Value = 48

Japanese adjusted assault: 140

Allied adjusted defense: 7

Japanese assault odds: 20 to 1 (fort level 0)

Japanese forces CAPTURE Kuching !!!

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), leaders(-), preparation(-), fatigue(-)
morale(-), experience(-)
Attacker: shock(+)

Japanese ground losses:
137 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 6 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Allied ground losses:
551 casualties reported
Squads: 31 destroyed, 5 disabled
Non Combat: 15 destroyed, 7 disabled
Engineers: 2 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 7 (5 destroyed, 2 disabled)
Vehicles lost 5 (5 destroyed, 0 disabled)
Units retreated 3

Defeated Allied Units Retreating!

Assaulting units:
2nd Engineer Regiment
II./4th Infantry Battalion
I./4th Infantry Battalion
2nd Recon Regiment

Defending units:
Sarawak Force
2/15 Punjab Battalion
106th RN Base Force

[Argos]

Kuching - isn't that the same sound Putin makes when he looks at his bank accounts?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Argos

Kuching - isn't that the same sound Putin makes when he looks at his bank accounts?

Hai! Crimea investment bond auction go rearry werr!


Wait tirr investors find out Crimea not-ah pay.


Arso, Mandrake-san find out Kremrin have-ah rearry crappy dentarh HMO pran. Not-ah see own dentist. Have to go to Cossack dentists.

[witpqs]

Pull teeth with horses and ropes, Three Stooges-style!

[Cap Mandrake]

*******Aboard Asama Maru, fragship of Port Moresby invasion freet, Dec 23, 1943(c)*******


<the ship pitches heaviry in storm caused by Grobarh Cooring>

Adm. Kubo: Generarh Kitano, 25 Army say forget Rabaurh, just-ah keep going to Port Moresby. It-ahh rong way from Kyushu. How Japan-army-mens of 4 division?

Lt. Gen. Kitano: Feering rittah bit tired. <an odd rook comes ovah Generarh Kitano-san> BRAAAAAAAP <throw up fish head soup on Admirarh. It-ah smerr pretty much riek you expect>

Adm. Kubo: Maybe Japan-mens navy ships stop at Rabaurh

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*******Aboard Asama Maru, fragship of Port Moresby invasion freet, Dec 23, 1943(c)*******

Lt. Gen Kitano: [scraping the mess off of the Admiral's shoes with a handkerchief]
So sorry, Admiral-san! I-ah get rearry nauseous with time travah!

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*******Aboard Asama Maru, fragship of Port Moresby invasion freet, Dec 23, 1943(c)*******

Lt. Gen Kitano: [scraping the mess off of the Admiral's shoes with a handkerchief]
So sorry, Admiral-san! I-ah get rearry nauseous with time travah!

[:D] Yes, time travel AND an alternate universe! That will do it every time!

[Cap Mandrake]

***********Operation Washtub, FBI HQ, Washington, DC***********

Director Hoover: ..well, what about using Eskimos?

Special Agent Smith: Yes, sir. It is the opinion of the planners that Eskimo, Indian and Aleut groups in the Territory should be avoided in view of their propensities to drink to excess and their fundamental indifference to constituted governments and political philosophies. It is pointed out that their prime concern is with survival and their
allegiance would easily shift to any power in control.

Director Hoover: Right, white people then. No communists or homosexuals either.

Special Agent Smith: Homosexuals in rural Alaska, sir?

Director Hoover: You might be surprised, special agent. We should teach them some kind of code so the Japs can't break it.

Special Agent Smith: Yes sir, we first tried a simple substitution cypher based on the first letter of a page in the novel of their choosing.
We would periodically broadcast new page numbers to change the cypher. Each Stay Behind Agent would have a different book.

Director Hoover: That sounds superb. How is it going?

Special Agent Smith: Not so well sir. Most of the prospective agents are very poor readers. We are going with Jackspeak.....

[Cap Mandrake]

..

[Cap Mandrake]

Answer to previous quiz: "Splenda in the grass"


Situation Fiji. I was tempted to send 144th Regt to New and Improved Scotland but we would probably impale ourselves at Suva with just 3 Naval Guard units.

One of the units tasked for PM will have to take Noumea.

[Cap Mandrake]

In case anyone has failed to notice this is a complicated game.

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

In case anyone has failed to notice this is a complicated game.

Well, yes, if it has quizzes now! [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

In case anyone has failed to notice this is a complicated game.

Well, yes, if it has quizzes now! [:D]

A quiz nobody got the answer to. [:-][:)]

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

What-ah this? Ret you think about.

Wirriam Wordsworth?

It-ah bad joss to quote oneserrf. Howevah, prease to note that not-ah onry did I fig-ah this out, but provided answah in genuine Japans-men speak.

I shourd-ah get partiar credit. Partiar credit on fictitious game aar quiz very very important to Chickenboy-san. Hai!

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

..

Is this quiz arso?

Prease arrow me to answer! My answer: bifocarrs reading test! It-ah rearry brurry!

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Answer to previous quiz: "Splenda in the grass"


Situation Fiji. I was tempted to send 144th Regt to New and Improved Scotland but we would probably impale ourselves at Suva with just 3 Naval Guard units.

One of the units tasked for PM will have to take Noumea.

Maybe you-ah kirr Arried dogs on Fiji with 3xNG & IR and then move arr three to New-ah Scotrand? Parhaps backfirr Fiji with "garrison" troops from-ah Manchukuo?

[Quixote]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

What-ah this? Ret you think about.

OK, that's an absolutely terrible pun. Or picture-pun. Or whatever you want to call it. Terrible. But fun. I assume this is what you were going for...

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&sqi=2&ved=0CB4QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FSplendor_in_the_Grass&ei=zBQFVPuUF8-BygSx84H4CQ&usg=AFQjCNHY8hnxP7kLC_JkiqTGsh_WoSlOfA&sig2=HFezyzm7KYnFfQjJ75lyBw&bvm=bv.74115972,d.aWw

[dcpollay]

ORIGINAL: Quixote

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

What-ah this? Ret you think about.

OK, that's an absolutely terrible pun. Or picture-pun. Or whatever you want to call it. Terrible. But fun. I assume this is what you were going for...

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&sqi=2&ved=0CB4QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FSplendor_in_the_Grass&ei=zBQFVPuUF8-BygSx84H4CQ&usg=AFQjCNHY8hnxP7kLC_JkiqTGsh_WoSlOfA&sig2=HFezyzm7KYnFfQjJ75lyBw&bvm=bv.74115972,d.aWw

They stole this plot from General Hospital![:)] Spoiler - Bud dies when his contract is up and he wants too much money per episode.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

It-ah bad joss to quote oneserrf. Howevah, prease to note that not-ah onry did I fig-ah this out, but provided answah in genuine Japans-men speak.

I shourd-ah get partiar credit. Partiar credit on fictitious game aar quiz very very important to Chickenboy-san. Hai!

Hory crap! Chicken-san right! Mandrake-san not-ah Engrish major onry risten to poems by Kanye West.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

..

Is this quiz arso?

Prease arrow me to answer! My answer: bifocarrs reading test! It-ah rearry brurry!

Hai! Too much RSD make eyes go bad. It-ah rettah to Mistah Hoovah about Operation Washtub. Not to worry. Japan-mens arready find out.