ORIGINAL: Alfred
You would be lucky if I restricted myself to being so merciful as to use a hacksaw.
First you would be subjected to watching THAT movie in order to, ahem, learn the "true history" of what should have transpired. Only when you could repeat from memory every line of THAT movie from memory would we proceed to stage two.
Next you would be kept back at school to write out, in long hand, 100 times the entire AE manual. Any misspellings or inaccuracies would result in immediate decapitation using a fish knife.
Having successfully completed stage two, you would be required to compile the updated manual, incorporating all the changes introduced through the various patches. Once that was completed, your access to post in the forum would be reinstated.
Alfred
Hacksaw is startin' to look mighty appealing! [X(]