Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[sprior]

11th of December

Crabs throw more explosives into the oggin.

The Japs are either
1. taking the scenic route or
2. trying to lure us forward into a forward defense of Malaya. Percy has already decided that Singers is far more comfy than all that 'orrible green stuff.

More Japs sighted on their way to Kendari (we think). Jolly Jack is off to spoil their run ashore in Repulsive and Pow.

Crabs with shiny but useless toys:

[sprior]

Crabs:

Another more plausible explanation as to why the RN refer to the RAF as 'crabs' goes back to the days of rum, sodomy and the lash (about last week in fact). One of the more unsavoury aspects of the average matelot was his unfortunate habit of contracting pubic lice or "crabs" during his shore leave. The treatment for this condition was to get a chum or shipmate to apply a liberal application of a greasy blue/grey ointment (known affectionately as "crab fat") to the affected area. The proper name for the ointment was Blue Unction.

With the RN's usual powers of wit and sophistication the RAF were thereafter referred to as 'crab fats' (or crabs for short) as their blue/grey uniform was exactly the same colour as the stuff that the filthy little ratings rubbed on their swollen and lice-ravaged goolies. The RAF by contrast affectionately refer to the Royal Navy as Bum Boys or Fish Heads. The Army are Pongos, Brown Jobs or Grunts.

Lifted from here:
http://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/Crab_Air#Or ... .27Crab.27

But then what do the pongoes know?

[stuman]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*****Nakajima B5N, Lt. Commander Shimazaki pilot and leader of strike group, Carrier Div. 5******


He cannot believe his luck to approach so close to the American ship without AA fire. Perhaps they believe they are safe in dry dock? He keys his intercom, "SET JUMPING PORPOISE SETTING!"

[:D]

Great job guys, I will following this one, and laughing all the way. Oh, and do not forget to beat the Japanese [;)]

[Mynok]

ORIGINAL: sprior
Bum Boys

That'd be the buggery bit, eh? [:D]

But then what do the pongoes know?

They know Syphilis, Gonorrhea, and Herpes, those ancient Greek goddesses of lust..... [:D]

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Crabs:

Another more plausible explanation as to why the RN refer to the RAF as 'crabs' goes back to the days of rum, sodomy and the lash (about last week in fact). One of the more unsavoury aspects of the average matelot was his unfortunate habit of contracting pubic lice or "crabs" during his shore leave. The treatment for this condition was to get a chum or shipmate to apply a liberal application of a greasy blue/grey ointment (known affectionately as "crab fat") to the affected area. The proper name for the ointment was Blue Unction.

With the RN's usual powers of wit and sophistication the RAF were thereafter referred to as 'crab fats' (or crabs for short) as their blue/grey uniform was exactly the same colour as the stuff that the filthy little ratings rubbed on their swollen and lice-ravaged goolies. The RAF by contrast affectionately refer to the Royal Navy as Bum Boys or Fish Heads. The Army are Pongos, Brown Jobs or Grunts.

Lifted from here:
http://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/Crab_Air#Or ... .27Crab.27

But then what do the pongoes know?

@ sprior: After you've just spent two very informative paragraphs describing pubic lice in the RN, do you really think I'm going to follow your link to www.arrse....? C'mon mate-be fair!

Edited to remove the 'l' from public to make 'pubic'. Come to think of it, though, public is rather appropo too...

[Grollub]

Just FYI, that link is hilarious. Not entirely PC though ... [:D]

[sprior]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

@ sprior: After you've just spent two very informative paragraphs describing pubic lice in the RN, do you really think I'm going to follow your link to www.arrse....? C'mon mate-be fair!

It happens to be the ARmy Rumour SErvice. I'm sure they'll be bummed to know you thought anything else...

And no, it's not very PC. But then what do you expect from people who wear brown for a living?

[scott64]

[BrucePowers]

ORIGINAL: sprior

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

@ sprior: After you've just spent two very informative paragraphs describing pubic lice in the RN, do you really think I'm going to follow your link to www.arrse....? C'mon mate-be fair!

It happens to be the ARmy Rumour SErvice. I'm sure they'll be bummed to know you thought anything else...

And no, it's not very PC. But then what do you expect from people who wear brown for a living?

[:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo


Incidentally, I've been trying to pick up on this Mayor of Addu Atoll reference, and have failed completely.

I suspect you are using a quite literal meaning for "head of Diego Garcia". Try using a more "littoral" meaning and the second part will make sense. [;)]

[Cap Mandrake]

******Office of Adm. Husband Kimmel, Pearl Harbor, Dec. 10, 1941*******



Aide: Sir, in terms of Naval aviation assets, we are down to 3 operational F3F's and 5 PBY's. All the battlewagons will be out for months, Arizona is up to her B-turret in mud and half the battle ready vessels are standing off Christmas Island waiting for the Japs to leave. If they chose to, they could take this place with a Boy Scout troop.

Adm. Kimmel: Captain, I will not have such defeatest talk in my command. See it doesn't happen again. <knock at door> ENTER!

Communications Officer: Sir, PBY's from Midway report numerous Jap transport East of Layson Island.

Adm. Kimmel: LAYSON ISLAND! THAT'S LESS THAN 800 MILES FROM WHERE WE STAND! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE.....

[BrucePowers]

Oddball: Enough with the negative waves Moriarity

Oh wait, wrong theatre of operations[:D]

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo


Incidentally, I've been trying to pick up on this Mayor of Addu Atoll reference, and have failed completely.

I suspect you are using a quite literal meaning for "head of Diego Garcia". Try using a more "littoral" meaning and the second part will make sense. [;)]

That part I get. I just thought that the good Mayor was an actual reference to something.

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Edited to remove the 'l' from public to make 'pubic'. Come to think of it, though, public is rather appropo too...

That was one of the better jokes made on History Channel's The Real West show.....

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo


That part I get. I just thought that the good Mayor was an actual reference to something.

It is. It is what I imagine Admiral Somerville saying when he was looking for someplace to hide his ships during the Indian Ocean Raid of 42. [:)]

Truth be told, I doubt he felt the need to ask permission.

[sprior]

The Grey Funnel Line is on its way to kendari. Unfortunately they ran over a Jap pig boat and Electra took one up the chuff before going down (and you can read as many double-entres into that as you like)

Meanwhile a bunch of brown jobs are being diverted to Sumatra.

Oh, splash!

[BrucePowers]

Cap, can you and would you provide an interpreter for Sprior?[:D]

[sprior]

Are we sitting comfortably children? Then we'll begin.

The Royal Navy is steaming towards Kendari. Electra was torpedoed and sank.

56th Brigade will reinforce Sumatra.

The Royal Air Force missed everything.

See Spot.

See Spot run.

Run Spot, run.

Clear?

[BrucePowers]

I got the part about Electra going down. Everything else was over my head[:D]

Please don't stop. It's great fun trying to figure it out.[8D]

[Chickenboy]

Sprior: I've got a question: Why is spot running?

Is s/he at Georgetown and trying to get away from the Imperial Guards? Will animals be harmed in the making of this AAR? Have you filled out an IACUC for using animals in this manner?